Friday, May 28, 2010

WALK IT OFF

I’m working from home today. This really means I’m working from Frank’s kitchen bar watching Dalton make uber pink cupcakes. Gayest. Cupcakes. Ever.
Part of being able to work from home is getting up early to drag the dog around the block. Normally I’d make Fuzzy do this morning task, but Fuzz is in Tulsa, Ok. this week. So The Harley man and myself get to go have an adventure around our quaint little village. Wearing work-out shorts without underwear. Apparently.

Halfway through our morning constitutional the birds in the park decided that we were invading their turf. This started cute, like “how cute the birds are enjoying the morning.” Then quickly turned to “oh, God. Run! Damn you run! Run Tippi Hedren, run!” I hate it when my dog makes overtly gay movie quote references. I just hate it. But, he is a Shar-pei. So… any dog that was originally sold via the Nemium Marcus Christmas catalogue is going to do that kind of thing.

Have a great Memorial Day if you’re in the US. If you live elsewhere, enjoy the US oil that’s about to wash up on your shores.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

HOTEL STEVIEB

“They’re tearing it down? My hotel.” I finally acknowledged this morning. Every day for what seems to be my entire life I’ve driven what I’ve called my hotel. Even though I’ve never stayed at or even set foot inside of it.

When I was a small and effeminate homosexual my family traveled around the western US showcasing our American Quarter Horses in rodeos and horse shows. We lived on a very rural Quarter Horse ranch and sold to anyone who attended these cowboy soirĂ©es. When we traveled to these three or four day hoedowns my Dad would pitch a huge army surplus tent for us to call home. Being a small and effeminate homosexual I didn’t yet get the army butch thing, just the creepy camping in a used canvas thing. “Icky, can’t we stay in a nice hotel with a pool and polyester bedspreads?” My Dad’s eyes would roll back into his head as I stood holding the center pole while the sisters stretched out the drab green fabric.


Anytime we drove home passed a certain point where the highway rounded next to a hill just south of Denver, Colorado I would look up and see this amazing modern gleaming hotel. My, hotel. I would state out loud, swear that someday I was going to spend a lot of time there, sitting by the pool and spending days walking from my room to the restaurant. “What shalest we eat upon today?” In these fantasies I always had a Tom Selleck mustache and a washboard stomach.

My commute for that last couple of years has taken pasts this seventies high rise hotel. And still every day I believed this now dog-eared building as some form of luxury. A symbol from my childhood that I still needed to fulfill. Every once and a while I’d still say, “someday I’m going to just spend the weekend there, just to treat the small effeminate gay boy inside of me.

I ignored the Murphy’s Demolition sign attached to the eighth floor for days. But then the windows were gone this morning. My hotel, this device I used to help me through a tough childhood is being taken from me. But, maybe they’ll build a better hotel. One that isn’t badly outdated from the seventies; one that I’d actually stay at. On the other hand I don’t have a Tom Selleck mustache. So sometimes things from your childhood just need to be let go and left as another little gay boy’s fantasy.

Monday, May 24, 2010

BACK TO CHEESEMAN PARK

I finally got back to running again. I hadn’t ran in awhile based on finding the time but, mostly because I’ve been avoiding the whole idea. Now that the weather is incredible I just had to get back to Cheeseman Park and the running trails.


I’ve forgotten how much I love this. It really is the best way to clear my mind and center myself for the coming up week. That and it was nice to see the big bear guy standing next tone of the trails playing the recorder again. He really has improved since last we met. He makes me giggle every time I see him playing his flute in the park. I have a philosophy when it comes to hooking up with guys; you must have a shtick and boy does he have one.

As I ran I started to think that summer really has begun and this means going through the jeans and cargo shorts in the closet. I’ve shed a lot of winter weight and it was now time to retry on everything to see what will fit. Turns out I’ve dropped back down to my waist size from two years ago. Now if only I hadn’t thrown out all my size 34 jeans in a heat of disgust and tears last spring. Guess it’s time for StevieB to go shopping. Who hears shopping montage music coming on

Thursday, May 20, 2010

GYM TIME

I’ve been fighting a cold all this week but, I’m determined to win. Try as I may. Part of being sick is the fight of “should I go to the gym or not?” Now most times if I’m illin I can go run through some sets and I leave feeling much better. It does go without saying that if I’m coughing up a lung to get all the other Dudes sick there is no choice. Or… if I have bad hair.


Tuesday I decided to go and see what I could do. Wow it was funny, I was so determined to have a great workout that I lifted more and did more sets on chest then I had done for months. Fear is a great motivator. Yesterday however, I wasn’t feel as well so I decided to skip, this was fine until five last night when I’m sitting on my couch watching the Doctor Who episode Of Flesh And Stone for the third time, feeling good but pissed because I was getting all atrophic, wasting away right there infront of the tube.

So today I’m still fighting the sniffles. We’ll see how the day goes and see but, today is shoulders and I love shoulders. That and I have great hair.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

THE BUZZ

It was haircut time at the ranch over the weekend. I go back and forth on cutting my own hair and letting a professional attempt it. But this weekend I don’t think I could have handled the emotional struggle that is my stylist’s life.



Last time a got a hair cut she was upset that her brother got to vacation outside of the country and she’s has never left the US or the state of Colorado; It wasn’t fair that her brother was so worldly. When asked where he was traveling too she explained how his journey was taking him to Cancun, Mexico. Wow.

So I got a little buzz and a couple of pics for Big Muscle Bear. When I finally got cleaned up and got back into bed with my third cup of coffee Fuzzy was just waking up….

Monday, May 17, 2010

SUMMER

Man I love the “firsts” of summer. The first time you wear your cargo shorts outside. The sitting on the patio again to watch the trees bloom and for me it’s the first beer bust of the season at the Denver Wrangler.

The days are still a bit cool here in Denver, but just enough to make it great to stand out in the fenced off parking lot of the local bear bar. Yesterday was just one of those days; the theme was apparently “classic car show” as they had a dozen classic cars for the drunken bears to fall against. Many gays were still trying to break in their new flip-flops and kept tripping over themselves into the ’65 Cadillac. Oh, good times.

What a nice relaxing way to shed-off the long cold months of winter and relax knowing that summer is on its way. Aestas is ready to help the muscle boys shed their shirts and enjoy really bad beer on the coming Sunday afternoons.

Friday, May 14, 2010

StevieB on Facebook

"If I thought for a minute there was going to be a computer network in the future that linked up everyone I ever knew or just fucked, I would of been less of a dick."

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I'M WICKED

Okay. So… yesterday my car’s satellite radio may or may not have been tuned to Seth Rudetsky’s Broadway and show tune channel. And I may or may not have been listening to show tunes. After leaving the gym where I was pumping heavy iron over my head for like hours. Pumping my guns and shit. Yeah.


So, maybe I was listening to show tunes. Maybe I was singing along, and maybe I had a big finish when my jazz hands shot up around my head.

In case you talk to our Femail man and she mentions that I’m awfully friendly as I drive by, yes I was waving to her and not reenacting the second act of Wicked. God I’m a huge fag.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

JAY BRANNAN

Homer posted this Jay Brannan video on his FB page:



I quickly fell in love with Jay Brannan. You can check out his site at JayBrannan.com or via Youtube.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

GAYDAR UP AND RUNNING

Can I tell you how much I love Gaydar Internet Radio? I found it through iTunes under RADIO/ELECTRONICA but you can also just go to Gaydarradio.com to listen to their live audio stream.

It’s pretty awesome. Not to mention the cute little DJ Alex Baker has gotten me through some depressing times at work the last couple of weeks.

Alex and I are like, totally like Facebook friends now, and we’re twitter…..twits. God I hate twitter.

So… if you need gay dance music in your life and you get an instant boner for a guy with an English accent, check out Gaydar.

Monday, May 10, 2010

RAMMSTEIN -V- COOKIE MONSTER

Dalton sent this to me over the weekend. My favorite band and my favorite Monster.


Thursday, May 6, 2010

I NEED A COCKTAIL

I need a cocktail. A huge frickin cocktail. I just completed two weeks of Job-roulette.

I have a job!

No.

Wait, yes. Yes? No.

So…… no then? Okay, I’m cool with that.

Wait, yes?

Let’s just say I’m having issues this week with the powers that fund government….. stuff. They “really can prove the critical need for my program” yet it can’t can be extended. If you need me I’ll being sitting under my desk with an aluminum foil hat.  Do you know what Nam Myoho Renge Kyo means?

I'm not going crazy, I'm not going crazy.

I’m glad to say that as of today right now I’m still the occupant of cubical number 423, 995. Cool.  Tonight I’m going to go celebrate by seeing Dixie Longate put on a Tupperware show. Buying some plastic crap will cheer me up.


Tuesday, May 4, 2010

THE CONE OF SHAME

Yesterday Harley the Superdog  had to have surgery. Nothing major just the typical high maintenance Shar-pei stuff. Last night however he did have to wear the “Cone of Shame.”


Poor guy, it was like sleeping with a lamp shade in the bed last night. All night he kept rubbing his plastic collar up my leg. Grumbling, “stupid vet make me wear a stupid plastic thing. Making my foot hurt…I wanta nom it….I wanta nom it. It hurts Steve…stupid cone of shame….stupid…stupid.” All in his Chinese accent.

Let’s just say I’m a little sleepy today.

Monday, May 3, 2010

WEEKEND WRAP UP

Over the weekend I got hit on via Grindr by Joseph Smith. Really……


Talk about awkward. He’s all “nice guns!” And I’m all like “Ewww, Joseph Smith the creepy founder of the Mormon Church is hitting on me!”  I set up a booty call for Wednesday.

Coming out of the gym on Saturday I couldn’t find my car. Silver car camouflage.