HALLOWEEN

Have I told you that I HATE Halloween? Hate it, hate it, and hate it. And here’s why, I’m a huge chicken -scaredy pants. I’ll be the first to admit it. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not the costumes, decorations or anything like that. It’s the TV commercials.

See, I have night terrors. Sometimes they’re fun. Like when I climbed up onto the bed and hit my head on the ceiling fan because I thought I was climbing onto the center stand to receive my Olympic gold medal. Most of the time however, they are horrible. Panic filled near heart attack kind of horrible. October it seems they show nothing but commercials for horror movies. Like the ongoing love story of the Saw V movie. The last “scary” movie I saw at length was Seven. It took me a month to not wake up in the hallway punching either the wall or the boyfriend. He got very “tenderized” that month. I still wonder why he broke up with me? Every time I see just a second or two of the Saw or anything in that vein I soak it directly into the darkest part of my brain and then twist it around to terrorize myself at 3AM, just so I can wake up beating the shit out of the highboy.

This is why we can’t have anything nice.

It has worked out this October. Since I have to watch everything on the DVR (so I can fast-forward through the commercials) I’ve also missed all the political ads. The race between the D and R for Colorado’s Senate seat it so hotly contested it seems like a horror movie. So, if you’re ever in our neighborhood at 2AM and see Stevie out on the lawn in his undies , duck.