I spent the entire day yesterday writing my term paper. I
have entitled it my Mos and po-po paper. Not realizing that I had wasted an
entire day sitting at the dinning room table with nothing but the dog staring
up at me, around seven p.m. my stomach decided it was time for me to stop
clicking away on the keyboard and throw some food in it.
Without considering the social norms of good grooming, I
grabbed the Shar-pei and headed out onto the streets for nourishment. I have a level of guilt for patronizing
the new Panda Express fast food chain that has opened up recently. I have
always dined at the locally owned and operated Chinese take-away, but after a
day of writing in my sweat pants, I feared that Mr. Wok would assume that the
zombie apocalypse had begun, and this particular zombie had a taste for Asian
brains, and I would be shot in the head. One should not fear being mistaken for
a zombie and shot just because one desires chinese food, but one should also
take a shower and remove ten hour old Pop-Tart crumbs from one’s beard before
heading out into public. So I went to Panda Express. They don’t judge.
As I did my zombie shuffle up to the “Order Here” sign, the
guy behind the glass sneeze guard smiled and said “hey, we chatted on Scruff!”
peering into his dreamy blue eyes and swimmers build wrapped in a fast food
uniform, I recognized him as well. My stomach and other bits growled. I
thought, it’s Mr. “watts up” and “your hot.” Pondering his very bad grammar, I
quickly thought, who am I to judge the proper use of you’re verses your? This
hot twenty-two year old wants to give me his egg rolls. Under the panda
embroidered polo shirt is a six-pack that thinks I am hot. I smiled my best
“How YOU Doin?” smile and ran my hand over my right
pectoris muscle covered by my coffee stained tee shirt.
I then grabbed my to-go bag and retreated out of the
restaurant like a defeated Mongol warrior, yet giggling like a Japanese
schoolgirl.
Damn. Now I want Pop-Tarts.
ReplyDeleteI'll never look at egg rolls the same....
ReplyDeleteMaybe he was wanting some "rough trade" (what with the stained t-shirt and crumbly beard). Or was there some VPL in the sweatpants??
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that my take away from this was OMG there's a Panda Express in your town now? When are we going? fpc
ReplyDeleteAnd who am I to judge someone using "verses" versus "versus"? :-)
ReplyDelete