Oh, Gymuary. It seems that
every year I blog about this amazing phenomenon. For six months, you can toss a dumbbell down the middle of
the weight section and not hit a soul. Suddenly, on January 1st there is a warren
of gym bunnies hopping around the place. This year; however, I am one of the
unkempt masses wandering around a new gym.
I was really excited about
by new employment being so close to the 24Hour fitness in Boulder. I reminded
me of living in Dallas when I could walk to my gym. As I excitedly walked into
my new home-away-from-home it quickly dawned on me, I was attending this new
congregation on the first week of January. Just like everyone else.
It is easy to spot the
“newbies” in three ways; the easiest is by their plumage. Sweatpants that are a
little too tight, since it hasn’t been asked to stretch over the newly expanded
frame. The “I just bought new workout gear and it all goes together” guy that’s
sporting an all aqua and chartreuse Nike ensemble. Not a single natural fiber
on his body, bless. And my
particular favorite way is the “I read a massive amount of information in
regard to how to workout in a gym” guy.
And this is were by petty
bitchyness kicks in, because with all the information out there on “how’ to
lift weights, and all the YouTube videos on pushing plates, there isn’t any
information on how to be a considerate gym mate. A lot of YouTube videos will
demonstrate how to super-set your routine, yet fails to mention that setting up
five stations of weights around benches and stacking bars full of plates may
help you, yet pisses off every bro that is forced to work around your inconsiderateness. Just because you place a towel on a
bench does not mean the bench is now your solvent territory. A terrycloth is
not a British flag; the weight benches are not India.
Soon Gymuary will over and
the routine will become just that, a routine. The dudes that need to utilize
their phones to “check-in” with the office from the luxury of the incline bench
will either fizzle out, or get tired of taking work calls with me in the background
spurting, “Guurl, not a natural fiber on her! Sad.” Like every year, February has us all back to being good,
friendly gym mates.
I hear you
ReplyDeleteWhat's a gym?
ReplyDeleteNot that I know what a gym is, but maybe you should do a "how to be a considerate gym mate" video for us all.... ;-)
ReplyDelete