DRIVE-BY BAG JOB

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day I drank a lot of beer last night. Well, red beers. I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone and instead of tomato juice I added potassium iodide. Today I’m hung over and my liver is shot, but my thyroid is fantastic.

I met a friend for dinner last night at pizza place in an old 1880s bank lobby I’ve been going to since high school. I’ve always loved it because you can buy pizza by the slice.

As we sat and talked a roving Irish bagpipe band came down the street and turned into the restaurant. The sounds of the pipes echoed off the marble floors making a deafening rumble. The owner of the restaurant screamed loud enough to stop the lads in the second stanza then barked that this was the ITALIAN place the IRISH pub was next door.


As they filed out deflated the owner turned to us and said “That’s what I call a drive-by bag job.”