Showing posts with label towels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label towels. Show all posts

Monday, August 30, 2010

Like a Rainbow

Over the weekend we went to the Denver Modernism Show. A trade show dedicated to all things Mid-century architecture and collectibles. We went because well…. We’re gay and it’s the law to like collecting quirky things. If we were twenty years older we would have been searching for the last bit of Erté for our collection at the Art Deco fair. So, in flip-flops and a strong understanding of late Bauhaus we marched.

During our search through chrome home furnishing and ironic art, the six of us started to discuss our childhood involving the Sears or Wards Catalogs. Here in the US you had the Sears Catalog or the Montgomery Ward’s catalogue to buy from. We were Wards.

When I was around eight my Mom took me the catalogue office inside our local Wards' department store. I remember that we were finally going to buy new towels and since there are seven kids, she was going to buy a lot of towels. I remember being so excited to have new towels to fold over and over on the unused towel bar in our heavily used bathroom. Since the plastic tiles in this room were baby blue I thought a nice Sea Foam green would accentuate nicely. As we approached the counter I explained my color palette idea like Candice on Divine Design would sit down with her clients, tossing around the color story I had in mind for this particular room of our over sized ranch house.

Quickly my design expertise was being ignored when my Mother started to order one of every color. “Like a rainbow” she explained. “No!” I shrieked. “How will I be able to folded out an entire splash of color if the towels don’t match?!” I started to panic; my design was being hacked apart. Doesn’t she understand her designer has her bathroom’s color story set?

I did what every eight year old gay boy did. I threw a tantrum in the middle of the Montgomery Ward’s catalogue department screaming that I wanted all matching towels. Candice Olsen would have done the same. She too would have been marched crying to the car.

For years I had to triple fold and hang a green hand towel on top of a red bath towel, which is why to this day I only have all white, Egyptian cotton towels.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

GAY HOLIDAY ZOMBIES

I was in the middle of my monthly trip to The Container Store for holiday organizing. I do love things to put things in. OCD? No, I just love the canned veggies alphabetized in the pantry. There’s nothing wrong with that.

During my visit to the plastic box store, I had to “hit the head” or use the room of rest. When I was complete with my task, I washed my hands. My wet hands being held out in front of me I circled around for the paper towels. Realizing I looked like a zombie and being alone I started moaning:

“Towels…..must have towels….Arrrrgh! Arrrrrrrrh!”

As I staggered towards the paper towels to attack a nice, normal little queen unsuspectedly came into the bath room. With a look of confusion, bordering on terror on his face. I quickly dried my hands whist humming the song being played on the over-head. A mix of White Christmas being sung by a gay zombie. Just to make him think that I was singing that the entire time.

Then I ran.

If you hear rumors of gay zombies cruising the bathrooms at The Container Store, that was just me.