BLINDSIDED

I was standing in the middle of the locker room last Friday, I had just stripped down to my 2xists when I felt a sharp pain in my left calf. Then another painful smack as I turned to see who or what was attacking me. At the other end of a very long cane was a forty-year-old woman.

“Uh, ma’am? You’ve made it in to the men’s locker room.” I said as she smacked me again.

“I’m going to the woman’s room!” She barked at me loudly, like I’d accused her of eating children or something equally as horrible such as voting Republican.

“Uh, okay. I’m sorry can I help you to the other locker room?”

“NO!” She said waving her cane towards my furry man parts and spinning around 180 degrees.  She then took five steps directly into the wall.

“Ma’am, my name is Steve. I’m more then happy to help you….”

“Shut up! I’m fine.”

You know, if you live long enough you’ll just do about everything once. Like smack down a blind woman. In your underwear.  Just as started to contemplate the justification I’d give to the cops a gym manager came in and asked to help her. “Yes, please.” She said with sweetness in her voice responding to the offer. The gym manager then looked over at me like I’m the one that just made her blind.

It just goes to show you. no good underwear caning goes unpunished.