This Grill is on Fire

On Saturday night I found myself out on a date. A date that ended up in a cozy booth at my favorite place to dine; The Denver Diner in downtown Denver. A ginger bearded boy and I sat in a corner booth dining on pancakes. A scene right out of a gay Rockwell painting. It was the perfect step on a great night out. We sat and judged the endless supply of parading women, drunk and spent from partying in their tiny skirts and 6" heels.  As I stared dreamily into my table mates deep blue eyes I heard screaming from the kitchen. "Get out!!!! Fire!!! Everyone out!!!!" I looked over to see the entire grill engulfed in flames. Leaving my pancakes, but grabbing my bearded boy, I attempted to beat out the murder of drunk girls, as I would assume they would be too slow in there cheap heels to make it to the door.*

As I escorted my date to the  front door, I did have the head about me to bust into a rendition of one of Alicia Keys' songs. I blurted out,

"it's just a grill and it's on fire!"

 "THIS GRILL IS ON FIRE!!!!"

There is

no more proud moment in my life.


*The news reported that no whoreish girls were harmed in the fire. My pancakes were; however, a total loss.

The news link is here...

Panda Express

I spent the entire day yesterday writing my term paper. I have entitled it my Mos and po-po paper. Not realizing that I had wasted an entire day sitting at the dinning room table with nothing but the dog staring up at me, around seven p.m. my stomach decided it was time for me to stop clicking away on the keyboard and throw some food in it.

Without considering the social norms of good grooming, I grabbed the Shar-pei and headed out onto the streets for nourishment.  I have a level of guilt for patronizing the new Panda Express fast food chain that has opened up recently. I have always dined at the locally owned and operated Chinese take-away, but after a day of writing in my sweat pants, I feared that Mr. Wok would assume that the zombie apocalypse had begun, and this particular zombie had a taste for Asian brains, and I would be shot in the head. One should not fear being mistaken for a zombie and shot just because one desires chinese food, but one should also take a shower and remove ten hour old Pop-Tart crumbs from one’s beard before heading out into public. So I went to Panda Express. They don’t judge.

As I did my zombie shuffle up to the “Order Here” sign, the guy behind the glass sneeze guard smiled and said “hey, we chatted on Scruff!” peering into his dreamy blue eyes and swimmers build wrapped in a fast food uniform, I recognized him as well. My stomach and other bits growled. I thought, it’s Mr. “watts up” and “your hot.” Pondering his very bad grammar, I quickly thought, who am I to judge the proper use of you’re verses your? This hot twenty-two year old wants to give me his egg rolls. Under the panda embroidered polo shirt is a six-pack that thinks I am hot. I smiled my best “How YOU Doin?” smile and ran my hand over my right pectoris muscle covered by my coffee stained tee shirt.

I then grabbed my to-go bag and retreated out of the restaurant like a defeated Mongol warrior, yet giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl. 

IRON CHEF STEVIEB

I have no idea when I started to enjoy cooking; it’s really been a recent development. I guess there comes a time in a guy’s life when he comes to a crossroads of chicken nuggets for eternity or making stuff that he actually likes. Last night it was Thai peanut sauce with stir-fry.

Dalton introduced me to Vietnamese and Thai food when we lived in Dallas, we would make a weekly trip to The Green Papaya restaurant on Oak Lawn. If you’re ever in Dallas, check it out. The spring rolls are the best I’ve ever had. This is where I started my love affair with Vietnamese/Thai and peanut sauce.

Aaaaaaaghh……spring rolls.
(To be said out loud like Homer Simpson)

I was a little embarrassed when I discovered how easy was it was to make this incredible sauce. Just peanut butter and a couple of other easy ingredients, and within twenty minutes I had a veggie stir-fry I was pretty frickin proud of, and the better half was able to scarf down. Now spring rolls….that may take a quantum leap for me, but it’s next on the Stevie food challenge.