Lesbian Football

It was Lesbian Weekend here at the ol’ homestead.


Not the trans-gendered lesbians from last summer, new sporty models. As all lesbians meet online and carry on relationships between different states, this couple was no different. The professional opera singer lives here in Colorado. With her parents. The parents would not approve of the high school football coach she’s seeing not only not being male, but being a female. There’s also the fact that they would be “sharing a bed” in “sin.” This weekend was when the Coach came from Oklahoma for a conjugal visit.

We welcomed the Football Coach and the Opera Singer with open fay arms.

I never realized how much I love lesbian bars, and how much more I could learn about American football. Although, when I referred to it as “American” the Coach got a little possessive. On Saturday afternoon, sitting in the stands of a local school’s football game I learned more intricate nuances to the game then I thought possible.

I realized that female gay set have it all figured out. They don’t care when I point out that they’re using the wrong wine glass to drink their beer, they just want to order pizza for dinner, and they love “chillin” out to watch TV. How frickin awesome is that. Although, we did rent The Bridesmaids and they spent the whole weekend screaming, “It’s coming out of me like lava!”

Nevertheless, fun was had by all. Now I just have to figure out how to get coconut and tea tree oil body lotion out of 600 thread count sheets.

FOOTBALL

We did watch the Super bowl on Sunday. There were a couple of us trying to figure out the whole heterosexual mess. We got that the Dusty Cranberries were vengeful towards the Goldenrods. When did they change the fabric make up of their tights so you can’t see Jock strap lines? Seriously?


So, we spent the remainder of the match tiring to figure out the scoring system. We decided that they got more point based on the amount of dancing they did in the colored zone. The more flips and gyrations the more points. Got it! It was like being stoned and watching Curling, we weren’t sure how the whole “inning” thing and yard thing worked. Mostly was sat and pick out our future boyfriends. Whilst eating pizza rolls. All and all it was pretty cool. Until Bruce Springsteen started bellyaching. Who picked him for the Half-time show? The overly made up Cougars in the “player’s wives section” they kept cutting too?

All in all we had fun. I ate way too much crudeta or veggie plate for all you non-footballers and, the goldenrods won by a…. by a… dancing end zone thing.