Stress

Next Monday is the first day of my new job. I also have two massive term papers to write before the 9th of May, one with a stupid video production. So, sure! I'll whip up a Power Point on the Hessian loss to George Washington, all whilst learning a new job. Then, I'll zip out twelve pages comparing and contrasting two of my favorite Shakespearian plays.

Along with my schizophrenic dating, and other life changing events on the horizon, my stress level is through the roof. But, it should all settle down quickly. 

My face when I read the term-paper requirements....

And Baby Makes Three

I am currently conducting a research study, with my dating habits as of late. And, I am learning a lot.  After I turned forty years old, I started to date guys in their twenties. I honestly believed there were no differences in guys my age and gay men in their twenties.  I went through this twenty year old phase in my life, and I thought that since I was once twenty, I would understand. I am here to report that I am dead wrong.  

There seems to be is a magical age when guys are old enough that they're bored with the hookup scene and interested in relationships, yet haven't reached the point where they're bored with relationships, and just want to hook up. This has nothing to do with chronological age. It has more to do with when the individual comes out. The key to finding any guy is to find one on the same pendulum swing as you. This hasn’t changed since I was posting ads on the back pages of Denver’s  Outfront Newspaper. Yes, before the interwebs, we had to post ads in the singles column of our gay newspapers. Chiseled into stone tablets, if I remember. 

It appears that younger guys pendulums swing faster these days. Kids, I tells ya. When I do sit down on a date I have a series of questions I like to ask.  Yeah, know, after the “do your parents know where you are?”question. The clearest one is, “Are you attracted to older guys on a personal level, or physical level?” This shows me whether there’s a Daddy fetish going on, or if it’s a maturity compatibility thing. When I was twenty I hated interacting with other twenty year olds, I preferred having a conversion with people over forty.  The other questions are “Do you know who Matthew Shepard, and Larry Kramer are? Have you seen the film, Paris is Burning?” The answers are surprising. Is it wrong to give a homework assignment after the first date? I think no. 

There is; however, something new, other than the fact that no gay man under the age of twenty-six would ever have a Facebook account. The guys I have dated as of late, are now thinking love and marriage. And children. It seems that generation next, have the freedom and acceptance to be able to dream of settling down and raising a family. This truly is - a different time, my friends. 

'Better Work

Yesterday marked an amazing and scary change in my life. I emailed my boss and turned in a two week notice.

This action was the end result of four weeks worth of interviews for a great new position with an exciting company. It was an unexplainable catharsis to click send on the email.  A moment of feeling the heavy iron shackles beginning to loosen around my ankles.

The irony of the situation was when, hours later, my boss called me. Instead of discussing the email, he laid into the insurmountable pile of work he had lined up for me that day. When he finally finished his lecture on time management, I simply asked if he checked his own email.... The pile of work disappeared, upon his reading out-loud of my gifted mail.

On to bigger and better things. But, as the goddess of irony gives; she also takes. My first week on the new jobs is right during finials week at school. 

Travel Time

Have you had a dating relationship with someone from another city? The typical long distance relationship. I wonder how this style of relationship works, the actual mechanics of attempting to establish closeness when the other person lives in another town.  I have, of late, attempted to pursue this style of relationship. Trust me, it is harder than it looks.

As I have grown older my tough-guy, no hugging, "I need my space" policy has worn away. The idea of having a boyfriend whom lived a plain ride, or even a car ride away seemed perfect for my younger self. To see and date on a regular, yet infrequent timetable.  I am finding lately that I have unknowingly changed this demeanor.  The ginger-swimmer from last fall lived almost two hours away, the Spaniard before him lived in San Francisco. Now, I am finding that a relationship is the little things. The stupid stuff we do together when there is not a time crunch. Dating is not the hot sex. It is the hot sex followed by wandering around the supermarket together, afterward in search of food. Maybe grabbing coffee and just wasting away a morning. Together.

I would never shoot down a hot boy that actually wanted to take on the bag of neurotic strangeness that is me, just because he lives an hour north of my town, it is not a deal breaker. It just seems I am scratching my head at the extra time it takes to build that level of closeness when time is so limited.