WHITE CHRISTMAS

Christmas was great, ate of course way to much. It snowed about 8 inches on Christmas day making it one of the few white Christmas’ in Colorado. We got over to Frank and Kevin’s around noon for sausage bread and the snow was already coming down at a good clip. The Twelve of us always have a “Chinese gift exchange.” We ended up having one of the deadliest exchanges on record. This was due to Fuzzy and Michelle in a head lock over a crock-pot. Accusations and pears where thrown. At one point it was the Straights against the gays. Sad, but true in the end Michelle went home with the crock-pot.
I received season one and two of Dallas on DVD. And yes, it is Dallas the TV show and No, no matter how much you beg, you can not borrow it. Yesterday I called in sick and spent the day hanging out with Fuzz the Boyfriend, took down the tinsel tree, went to the gym then to Daz Bog for coffee. As I was parking the Jeep, I noticed a very well dressed lady carrying about four Macy’s bags on her shoulder, since there around six inches of snow on the ground I thought this lady is dedicated to shopping. Then I realized that she was walking down the street sprinkling ice melt in front of her. I guess to not slip on the ice. She stops and scoops again from one on the Macys’ bags. “Wow,” I said “Macy’s carries ice melt?” To which Fuzz replies, “and it’s probably sixty bucks.”

Gay Marriage 08

As 2008 comes upon us I think the major thing on everyone's mind will be the election. The stupidity has already started, because of this I plan not to watch the news or yard signs until 2009. The Republican debate once again is the gays and how we as a group are bringing down the sanctity of marriage. I believe that gay marriage may go something like this......">



I believe I'm more of a Perry than a Walter. Now seriously, how can the happiness of Walter and Perry hurt anyone. They just want to be happy, how can this be wrong?

5 DAYS AND COUNTING

It’s been 5 days since I said goodbye to Chester.

Chester was my Chesapeake bay retriever. He was also my best friend and companion for 12 years. He was with me when I left Jeff and made the move to Dallas. He greeted me when I came home. He made every strange apartment I’ve had into a home. After a long time struggling with arthritis and hip dysphasia I finally came to the realization that his quality of life was slowly sinking. On Friday the 14th I gave him up. I picked up my best friend and loaded him in to the back of Frank’s Xterra. I scratched his head while I told him how much he meant to me. I whispered in his ear that I loved him and that I’ll see him soon. I let him know that he should be a good boy until then. I quickly shut the door.

True friends prove themselves almost effortlessly, by their actions they express how much of a family you’ve become. This came through clearly when Frank and Fuzzy drove away. The three of them had an appointment at the vet. I was told they sat talking to Chester while the vet inserted a IV needle into his back hip. As Fuzzy scratching Chester’s ears he told him what a great boy he was as he drifted off to a peaceful sleep. I have to believe this, and that he stared and Frank and Fuzzy happy that he had his people around. I pray that he did not wonder where I was.

TREE HUGGER

So here’s another online profile question. What’s up with the guys posing naked with their Christmas tree? I keep see more and more of these. They’re flexing and shoving the business towards the camera right in front of the cute little angle atop the tree in the living room. The best part is when you run across these in the middle of the summer. Maybe it’s some kind of fetish. Now I thought I’ve heard of most fetishes, even a guy with a Santa Claus fetish. But a crush on your tree? What did the poor thing ever do to you?

Here's a pic for ya:

NEW LIFE CHURCH

Police said Monday that the gunman who killed two people at a mega church in Colorado Springs and two people at a missionary training school in Arvada was the same troubled 24-year-old man. What the media is telling you is that Matthew Murray is responsible for the crime. But no one is talking about the real motivation behind the attacks. Murray carried and assault rifle, two handguns and more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition on Sunday December 9th. But his motivation goes back to being thrown out of the Youth With A Mission school 5 years ago. This is the right wing youth mission evangelical outreach that brain washes kids to go around the world to “convert” people of other faiths to Christianity. This group has been linked to the motivation behind Muslims extremists’ belief that America is out to destroy Islam. Matthew had been sending hate mail and posting comments and letters online for years. A law enforcement official that spoke on condition of anonymity said it appeared Murray "hated Christians." Through Matthew’s own writings it was found out that Matthew was in fact homosexual. The real reason that Matthew was kicked out of the Youth With a Mission was that it was found out. They turned the backs on him asking him not to return. This was the only peer group Matthew had ever know due to his religious home schooling.

Fast forward to 2006, Ted Haggard pastor of this church publicly admits unspecified "sexual immorality" with the infamous Denver male escort, Mike Jones. This forces Haggard to resign as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, where he held sway in Washington and condemned homosexuality, after Mike claimed to have had drug-fueled trysts with him. The New Life church is rocked, and yet the congregation ends up forgiving Ted then inviting Mike to their services to forgive him. Matthew sees this as utterly hypocritical and is left wondering why his church would forgive Ted and even Mike and yet closed its doors to him. As we now know Matthew directs his anger and hurt directly at the church. Do you believe that this will be a lesson learned or just chalked up to the law enforcement official who stated that Murray just "hated Christians.”

Roid Rage

I was dragging my ass into the gym last night, through the snow. Getting all ready to pump the guns. As I walked through the parking lot I noticed a very hot gym rat leaving all sweaty and musclie. He then grabbed his key fob out of his jacket and beeped at his SUV. The automatic lift gate raised then upon setting his cute little gym bag inside it lowered and shut. My first thought was “wow, That’s kind of cool.” Then I realized that this guy went to the gym lifted heavy plates above his head for pert neer an hour then had the SUV open for him so he didn’t have to strain himself. Clearly the terrorists have won. Is that saying passé? Like “this shit is bananas!” Anyway, the word for 2007 was wh00t. I guess this is the new word being added to the dictionary, not that I ever use one. A dictionary, not a wh00t. A wh00t is an online expression of glee. As in “This shit is bananas. Wh00t!”
In the middle of shoulder press last night Fuzzy the boyfriend mentioned Christmas presents. We went back and forth from buying presents to waiting for the cruise so we can do something onboard. He then mentioned that he wanted to buy me roids for the cruise. Okay not really roids but a “healthy, legal version.” Well more of a supplement. Ummm, I can’t believe is not steroids! Steroids lite! Steroids free! Don’t get me wrong I want to be huge no matter what. I in no way want to be healthy. I want to be totally ripped and yet be winded if I try to cross the street. But just as he mentioned this, the song “I’m getting nothing for Christmas” hit me but I started singing “I’m getting steroids for Christmas, and I’m going to get backcne.” Apparently I then sang this for quite awhile enough to drive Fuzzy to snap “Or not!” So this is my new Christmas wish, a banned chemical substance.

IDICK

So I went to a big gay holiday party on Saturday and it went really well. There was 8 inches of snow just to set the mood. This was the first of Carl’s parties
were I didn’t want to deck someone during the festivities. Frank taught me a new word. “Idick” This stems from the guys who kept showing off their Iphones to anyone that would come within 50 feet. The more they talk about their iphones and how their lives have become so “cosmopolitan” the more they become huge dickheads. Hence Idick, the act of being a dick for showing off your Iphone like anyone really cares. You still live in a city with a larger tax base for football then the museums. Just because you have an Iphone doesn’t make you any less socially awkward.

Speaking of awkward did you see in the news that Al Gore won the Nobel peace prize? During part of this process he and the other Nobel laureates got to meet with President George Bush. During this meeting W stated that if it weren’t for a change of fate President Gore would be greeting him in the oval office to congratulate him for winning the Nobel. What the freaking hell! Why on earth would W win a Nobel. Are they giving them out for vodka drinking and bad articulation?

JACK IS BACK

When I left Dallas I left behind the only man I ever loved. Well, the only fast food man I’ve ever loved. It was a tough decision to leave Dallas and Jack. Jack in the box is pretty much the best fast food on the planet. Did you know that Jack actually invented the drive through? Smart guy, when I left the bar I really didn’t want to have to get out of the Jeep in chaps just to get some food. The drive through was invented just to save the general public form having to see my 2:30AM bare ass.

When Dalton and I left Dallas it was with a heavy heart. I knew I was coming to a place that didn’t have Jack in the Box. Yes, there really was a place. A city that had no yummy Breakfast Jacks or 99-cent tacos. Now Denver had Jack in the boxes back in the 90s. But then they released their e.coli burger. A flesh-eating bacterium on a bun. After that they pulled out of the state. I had to suffer in somewhat silence all this time. That was until I was perusing through the Denver Post and found and article that my man was coming back to Denver. I felt renewed, like my man was coming back from war. Some sort of fast food war where they fought with sweet, sweet ketchup. The only problem was they didn’t have a grand opening date. So after five times of driving across town, did I mention that it’s completely across town? They finally opened and I am now reunited with my yummy breakfast jack and my sweet antenna ball headed man, Jack. If you want to go hit me up I’ll go any time. Or you can find me there with a tray of jack’s burgers and sweet ketchup on my chin.

GayJeeps

Gaywheels.com has ranked the top gay cars for 2007. The #1 car is a total surprise to me. The Toyota Yaris came out right above the Saab 9-3. Now I believe the Saab, I have dated no less then 3 guys that drove Saabs. But the Yaris, Seriously? This tiny little car just seams so not gay. Now if they said the Prius I’d understand. From my experience in the gay ghettos I would think that the Jeep Wrangler would be up on the list and yet no Jeeps or trucks where listed.

This is not just because I happen to drive a Jeep Wrangler but more based on my on dating and just experience with “the gays.”

Yes It’s time for one of StevieB’s rules of dating. My rule on cars are, I don’t date guys that drive them. Especially after dating 3 guys that drove Saabs, from then on I decided that I will only date a guy if he drove a truck. I’m just more attracted to the kind of guy that would drive a big butch truck. So there.
You just can’t ignore the gay Jeeps of America. I really need to Google that. Then maybe start that as a gay subclass, because that’s what the gay community needs is more subclasses. Then spinning off from this group they’ll have Lesbian Jeeps of America then Bear Jeeps then Furry Jeeps. That’s if you’re gay and think you’re a dog but want the wind to blow through your fur as you drive. As a gay Jeep Dog?
Seriously, I’m going to start GayJeeps. “ We’re here, We’re Queer. We like to drive around without our shirts so you can see our large and manly pecs!” Catchy hu? I’m going to have Dalton make T-shirts.
If your one of the un-lucky and don’t have a Jeep, you can still join but as a Jeep Admirer. Who’s with me? I need help pouring beer at the Eagle Beer Bust.

45 and not a day to soon

It’s 45 days until the next big gay cruise, man I can’t wait. I am so ready for a break. The whole being a responsible adult thing is getting me down. I’m a HR manager which really means that I baby-sit adults. Today was no different. Someone came crying into my office to say that she caught her boyfriend in bed with another woman. She then cried for about 5 minuets. How did I end up with a job where I have to be nice to people? At what point to do we start living from vacation to vacation? Well it does not really matter because I’m going on the largest gay cruise ever. Yippy!

My Christmas Sixpack

I just received my invite to the annual cookie exchange. Wow, that sounded really gay didn’t it? Even for me. Since I’ve shared my adventure from years past I think I just might not participate. Oh I’m going, Hello open bar but I just may pass of the baking part.
I’m desperately trying to cut some muscles and for that I need to lose 5 more pounds by the cruise in January. As muscle gains go I’m getting to the point where I have good mass but you can’t really see the progress due to layer of “insulation.” I’m now believing that everyone has a six pack it’s just hidden under layers of fat. So baking holiday joy may not be the best for me.

Thank you Carl and Will, now this what I needed a Chistmas party. I’m still not dragging that garland crap out of the closet but there is something about holiday parties that gets me happy. Well, that and Joe will be there. God he’s hot. Sometimes I just stare at his muscular forearms and giggle.

Picture Pectoral Perfect

Gay men as a whole must be afraid of technology. Maybe not afraid, just not sure all the benefits of their technology. Yes, I know I’m generalizing or as the Department of Home land security is so apt in I’m “profiling.” The gays love the newest and the very best. Do you think Apple would be gaining huge market shares if it were not for the shiny MacPro or as I do the clean lines of the Macbook? The gays drive the market in so many cool, shiny and expensive toys.
Why do I see so many guys unable to use their cameras? As you may or not know I’m am a “profile junkie” I spend hours on sites from Manhunt to Big Muscle Bear and every web site between. It seams to me that every profile I check out has the “I’m taking my own picture in the bathroom mirror” picture. Why is this? You can clearly see that the camera is a very nice new and not some sort of 70s Polaroid. All these cameras must have a timer? Do we as a people not know how to use the technology that we possess? I say yes. That or we’re focused on making our pecs look as big as possible. In fair disclosure I in the past was one of these bathroom guys. It took months to realize that the shower behind me was a filthy mess.
In the last couple of years we’ve all seen those independent companies pop up just to sell your crap on Ebay. How about a chain that will take your photo posed however you’d like. You could finally break out those chaps hanging in the closest. This company will give you your pictures to load them on the WWW. Oh wait, they’re called photographers. They hang out in photography studios. Never mind.