The Blue Light Project

During the darkest days of the AIDS epidemic the community in Denver was devastated. To cope and indicate our strength many houses placed a blue light in their windows. The Blue Light Campaign.  You could drive around Capitol Hill in 1988 and whole streets were lit up with blue light bulbs glowing from windows. During this time I was in high school and rode the number 10 bus every day, riding early in the mornings way before the sun would rise. As I left my safe neighborhood to head to the grey suburb I would count the glowing blue bulbs. One building next to Cheesman Park had every window light up with a blue lamp marking the defiance to a disease. I would stare at this building with a sense of belonging, solidarity, and fear for the future of the disease.  

Then the violence started. 

Rocks began to be thrown through windows shattering widows and the lights. Somehow attempting to stop and deny the solidarity in a time of crisis. The news refused to cover the growing violence, community leaders started civilian patrols. I remember meetings at the gay community center trying to build some sort of protection. Not only were we fighting AIDS we also had to fight roving bands of rock throwing nasty scum. But, the building next to the park never stopped shining their blue lights. Window glass was replaced and the lights were still lit. 

One morning on the bus to school I saw that a large picture window in this building was shattered.  On the ride home that day I noticed a sign. It read “WHY? You will not break us!!” I cried the rest to the ride home. The sign became my mantra. My driving motive to get involved in the movement. All of my volunteering, my help in the LGBTQA community was started and formed on that day. They may throw rocks, but will not break us. 

I thought about that day a lot growing up. So it was surreal when I stood in an empty bedroom on the other side of that window where the sign was posted. The window I looked out of was once shattered by hate. the blue light sat in the condo that partner and I were touring. Thirty years later I stared onto the street below where someone once stood and threw a rock. Someone bravely lived in the home we were deciding to make our home. My partner stepping up next to me seeing the look on my face as I stood thinking about that day. “You okay?” He said. “Yes, we have to live here” I said. We moved in soon after. 

I have blue lights decorating our balcony. I am 100% sure no-one knows the significance. But I do. It’s for the person who hung up that sign in the window.