I went to the dentist last week. Never go to a medical facility on Halloween. The receptionist was dressed as a zombie, Feeling uneasy about getting dental work and then giving your insurance card to the undead, it’s a little uncomfortable. This is a new dentist, as my cute little gay dentist retired to move to Hawaii. Selfish. He gave his practice to Dr. Straight-Mormon. I’ll be the first to say that I’m a Gay Ghetto gay. I want to give my money to my people. I honor and respect people that can say “being gay is just a part of my whole being.” Oooooh, get her!
This was my second visit. Both times as I tried unsuccessfully to fit my wide frame into the tiny chair Dr. Straight-Mormon asked,
“So are ya watching the Broncos?
This is the Denver Broncos, the NFL, American Football team he’s referencing. As he asks this I feel the urge to roll my eyes. What I want to say is that I do not enjoy watching Millionaires play an insignificant game. Why does a huge sum of our taxes go to build and maintain a stadium that is used to entertain a small minority? Why when the NFL makes record profits year after year does the city supplement this team and the stadium. Why does this small minority get support and the culture and arts base in this city have to struggle. Our libraries have to close on certain days to save money and yet the owner of the Broncos has what is pretty much a Lobbyist to get funds so that no “out of pocket” funds have to come from him.
Denver has no Symphony hall yet we have football players getting arrested monthly. So NO! I do not watch the Broncos. I don’t watch them because I believe in this city and want to see light rail grow. Not expand the parking structure around the stadium for tailgate parties. That and, it’s homoerotic, watched by Homophobes.
But as Dr. Straight-Mormon asks this he shoves a mirror on a stick into my mouth so all I can do is mutter “uuuugh- uuum.”
You raise many good points that I agree with especially just seeing the symphony Saturday night, but I have just one question: your dentist is Mormon?
ReplyDeleteWhen presented with the same question (though out here it's of course how about them Mariners/Seahawks)I have a standard answer.
ReplyDeleteHim: How about them Mariners?
Me: Oh, I don't really follow basketball.
Him: huh?
Wow... the Denver Bronco's sound very similar to our Brisbane Bronco's here - well the arrests parts any way.
ReplyDeleteBoo to the millions of dollars spent on any sport while culture languishes.
I get this often! Oddest time though was just remembered while reading your blog.... I was getting an anal exam and as I lay on my side... he's sticking what feels like a funnel up my ass - I'm facing (crotch hanging out) the door for the room & waiting for a nurse to open it and walk in at any moment... "Man you are a big guy!!! Do you play football?
ReplyDelete"Uh no... but hey is my butt hole too tight to be having anal sex? I don't want any permanent damage back there!?"
his reply "Well you are very tight just be safe and be sure to lube it a lot before you insert anything and go very slow."
OK thanks! - We didn't keep talking after that.
I'll usually agree with whatever team they mention, despite the fact I know nothing about most sports, then all I have to do is say the occasional "yeah" "I know" and "They were robbed this season" and don't actually need to commit myself to a pointless conversation while they endlessly froth about their chosen team. It certainly makes things easier.
ReplyDelete