FOUR EYES!

I had to go to the Optometrist last Friday. Staring at Government forms and a computer all day plus a two hour commute has taken its toll. It has NOTHING to do with being in my late thirties. Nothing. I’ve been putting it off for quite awhile because of the “What. Another thing to make me big dork? Like the Sci-fi and blogging and anthropomorphizing my dog and my endless boring obsession with the Amber Room isn’t enough?” Great.

I was a little sheepish as I went into the doctor’s office. It was a gay office in a very trendy neighborhood in Denver. Hell, if I had to go to the eye doctor, I might as well go Uber-gay. I quickly calmed down when the check-up went really well and a little gay boy helped me find some great frames. Even though the only direction I gave him was that I wanted frames like Clark Kent would wear to a White Party. When he looked sideways at me I followed up with “Uh….like Bruce Wane cruising Castro?” I’ll get my new specs in a week. I’ll let you be the judge.

During the final step the Doc had to dilate my eyes. After pouring in the liquid hot magma, he stepped out, this is when I zipped out my iPhone for some E-cruising via Grindr and Facebook. Quickly my screen got blurry, but as the gay receptionist came in to check on me he was amazed and questioned.

“Wow, you can still see your phone?”

“Yes.” I calmly replied. “My will to Grindr is too great.”