A Hard Awakening

It's been eight years of living in my house. Yet, I can not still remember which shower door goes on which side as to create a seal and stop water from gushing onto the floor. The dog; however,  loves to stand at the unsealed door and lap up the fountain. 

I bring this up because there has been a couple of strange occurrences in the last fortnight that fall under the category of "Steve wakes up hard" wait. Let's name it " It's hard for Steve to wake up" 

Still mostly asleep, I peered down today to see a large Alien-like creature pressed against the shower door. Slimy and pulsating I felt like Ellen Ripley, (Her last name was Ripley...I like to be didactic) with a face hugger attacking through the shower. After wishing I had my flamethrower with me, I realized it was just Sharpei tongue. 

Last week, I poured the entire carafe of water into where the coffee grounds should be placed in the coffee maker.  Hilarity ensued as I attempted to understand why my feet were wet. 

There's been putting on of Fuzzy's jeans that are two sizes smaller than mine, the losing of my phone, until I realized I'd slept on it. Making it adhere to my back muscle/fat. But, the best was waking up and leaving the house before realizing it was my day off. 

These are all indicators that I'm way too destracted as of late. I need either a new job, or just a vacation.