You learn life lessons no matter where you are.
My friend Tom just retired from twenty years in the Army. He has a wife and two kids. I met Tom, with his wife first through an event at church, then at their first gay pride parade. It was his first gay event other then bars and T-rooms. I wrote about it here.
The other night I was kicking back some beers with Tom, his wife, and his wife’s new boyfriend at JR’s. After coming across as a complete nerd explaining why our local gay bar is called JR’s Tom started to update me where he was in his transition to being openly gay, his new job in the private sector and what his plans where moving forward.
As we chatted, a small group on the other side of the table started to make fun of people coming in the front door. Most likely new to gay bars, a couple of guys seemed hesitant. They didn’t dress in complete modern up to date styles and did not in any way seem like Aberzombies. As one guy tripped coming in the gays giggled.
Tom stood up and in a military calm tone of voice explained that it probably wasn’t that long ago that they were stepping into a gay bar for the first time. That making someone the butt of your joke isn’t cool, in fact makes you look like an ass. Humor comes from wit, not judgment.
Upon sitting down and without missing a beat Tom continued to explain how helpful I was in supporting and helping him learn lessons about his new life. I was dumbstruck. “Yeah” I said “you learn from me?” That’s funny.
My friend Tom just retired from twenty years in the Army. He has a wife and two kids. I met Tom, with his wife first through an event at church, then at their first gay pride parade. It was his first gay event other then bars and T-rooms. I wrote about it here.
The other night I was kicking back some beers with Tom, his wife, and his wife’s new boyfriend at JR’s. After coming across as a complete nerd explaining why our local gay bar is called JR’s Tom started to update me where he was in his transition to being openly gay, his new job in the private sector and what his plans where moving forward.
As we chatted, a small group on the other side of the table started to make fun of people coming in the front door. Most likely new to gay bars, a couple of guys seemed hesitant. They didn’t dress in complete modern up to date styles and did not in any way seem like Aberzombies. As one guy tripped coming in the gays giggled.
Tom stood up and in a military calm tone of voice explained that it probably wasn’t that long ago that they were stepping into a gay bar for the first time. That making someone the butt of your joke isn’t cool, in fact makes you look like an ass. Humor comes from wit, not judgment.
Upon sitting down and without missing a beat Tom continued to explain how helpful I was in supporting and helping him learn lessons about his new life. I was dumbstruck. “Yeah” I said “you learn from me?” That’s funny.
Go Tom
ReplyDeleteI need to learn that lesson, point well made Tom.
ReplyDeleteTom sounds great.
ReplyDeleteTom and his wife and the wife's new boyfriend sound like a few of my friends. I like the honesty of people like them.
ReplyDeleteBut if you take away our judgey bitchiness... what'll be left of us gays??
ReplyDelete