Saturday, October 3, 2015

War is Hell

I have been putting off writing a declaration of peace. Like a peace accord with a bitter enemy, that is now humble in defeat. I guess it would be more like The Japanese Instrument of Surrender, the written agreement that formalized the surrender of the Empire of Japan, marking the end of World War II. This symbolic act of writing has been weighting on my mind for several years now. I begin to think about it, how I would express my love and admiration, toward my fellow warriors,  then for some reason, maybe due to Post-traumatic stress disorder, I had not. 

After two years, it is time.  

It was about two years ago when I fell into the deepest and darkest of depressions. I pulled away from everyone and everything. I turned completely introverted. I had a struggle, no. A war on my hands to stay standing. To not give into the dark. During this time, I did not explain my war to anyone. It was a fight of one. A secret battle that sparked up again daily. How would anyone help in this fight? How could I even explain the tactics that the enemy was using? The enemy could not be identified. They wore no uniforms. They had no insignia. How do you plan an attack on a sneaky enemy that was invisible? My only defense was to quote Trinity’s line from the Matrix, “Get up, Trinity, get up!” I kept moving. I just kept getting up, every day. During this time of introversion, I do remember one detail. Some friends that I ghosted upon, instead of being alerted, simply left the battle field. I had not raised the alarm, but they avoided the sound of cannon fire. 

Two people grabbed whatever defenses they had, and joined the fight. 

Upon de-friending Mike, on Facebook, he immediately called my phone until I picked up.  He refused to buy any line I threw at him. He would not step away from my side. He had no ammunition, he was unarmed. His very presence began to scare away the enemy. 

The constant connection of Patrick, not letting me withdraw, was a constant reminder that I have the strength to tackle and defeat any dark army that wanted to steal me away. 

With an army of three, the defenses were built. The stone walls of the stronghold were secured. There were only three men atop the wall. But, victory came slowly and precisely. They are warriors; and should be honored and decorated as so. Their dedication should be known.  I can proudly say that I am a stronger solider because of what I saw in the battles that encompassed the war. Now, the cannons have fallen silent. There is a field of beautiful wild flowers where the battlefield once raged…Just a simple, peaceful valley. 



"Without heroes, we are all plain people, and don't know how far we can go." --- Bernard Malamud 




7 comments:

John said...

Love this...it's so easy these days to take friendships for granted with social media, and those who want to be present are hard to find. Good on you for making it through with friends so loyal.

John said...

Love this...it's so easy these days to take friendships for granted with social media, and those who want to be present are hard to find. Good on you for making it through with friends so loyal.

Fearsome Beard said...

Friendship is a treasure. I sure appreciate all that I have surrounding me.

rjjs8878 said...

It's great your friends stepped in to help. To some people, I have a perfect life. The only thing missing is a partner. But some days I get overwhelmed with sadness. It will last a day or two. I can't explain it. I just have to accept acknowledge it and go on with my life.

Kevin Nguyen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BosGuy said...

I treasure my friends, and I'm happy to read that you had two that treasured you.

anne marie in philly said...

real friends are there for you no matter what; and you seem to have two keepers there! LUCKY YOU!