Monday, August 30, 2010

Like a Rainbow

Over the weekend we went to the Denver Modernism Show. A trade show dedicated to all things Mid-century architecture and collectibles. We went because well…. We’re gay and it’s the law to like collecting quirky things. If we were twenty years older we would have been searching for the last bit of Erté for our collection at the Art Deco fair. So, in flip-flops and a strong understanding of late Bauhaus we marched.

During our search through chrome home furnishing and ironic art, the six of us started to discuss our childhood involving the Sears or Wards Catalogs. Here in the US you had the Sears Catalog or the Montgomery Ward’s catalogue to buy from. We were Wards.

When I was around eight my Mom took me the catalogue office inside our local Wards' department store. I remember that we were finally going to buy new towels and since there are seven kids, she was going to buy a lot of towels. I remember being so excited to have new towels to fold over and over on the unused towel bar in our heavily used bathroom. Since the plastic tiles in this room were baby blue I thought a nice Sea Foam green would accentuate nicely. As we approached the counter I explained my color palette idea like Candice on Divine Design would sit down with her clients, tossing around the color story I had in mind for this particular room of our over sized ranch house.

Quickly my design expertise was being ignored when my Mother started to order one of every color. “Like a rainbow” she explained. “No!” I shrieked. “How will I be able to folded out an entire splash of color if the towels don’t match?!” I started to panic; my design was being hacked apart. Doesn’t she understand her designer has her bathroom’s color story set?

I did what every eight year old gay boy did. I threw a tantrum in the middle of the Montgomery Ward’s catalogue department screaming that I wanted all matching towels. Candice Olsen would have done the same. She too would have been marched crying to the car.

For years I had to triple fold and hang a green hand towel on top of a red bath towel, which is why to this day I only have all white, Egyptian cotton towels.

Friday, August 27, 2010


I feel stuck inside a Matthew Barney film this week. Long, intriguing, and cerebral yet you sit there wandering what the hell is happening but won’t say anything in fear that you’re the only one that just doesn’t “get it”.

In the middle of a conference call this week, being chosen to head up a project I referred to myself as the team’s cathodic protection. This got blank stares. I went on to explain about blocks of reactive metal like zinc strips being attached to ship hulls to break the electron flow from oxidizing the metal of the hull. More blank stares. I then quickly decided to go the Ralph Wiggim approach and just said “You choo-choo choose me?”

I blame August. Towards the end of August everyone turns a bit odd. Maybe we get lethargic from the heat and knowing that summer is come to its climax. Like when that hot guy collapses in the bed next to you and although it was frickin amazing you start to wonder where your car is. The end of August is like that. Summer was a fun time but, soon you’ll want your own pillow to bite under your head.

Well here’s to the wrapping up of summer. Unless you’re Kez in Melbourne, then happy soon to be spring.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


I stumbled across artist, Janelle Monae last night. Check her out….

Why does she evoke Lena Horne in my head?

Monday, August 23, 2010


Well, three days sitting in a windowless conference room on a Military command staring at PowerPoint presentations sounds fun. It really isn’t. The worst part was that the command was in the middle of remodeling their cafeteria so I didn’t get the whole “eating in the galley” experience. Other than having a Corpsman shove a plate of beef and noodles towards my head. But, speaking of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell there were a surprising amount of headless washboarded torsos on Grindr. I thought that was odd incredible hot.

Each headless torso would say, “Dude. I GHR and XYZ at 1500.” I had no idea what they were saying by rattling off acronyms, but it sure sounded cool. I just responded by saying that I was the only guy wandering around in a grey suit with beef and noodle casserole in my hair.

During my flights I read the book HERE’S WHAT WE’LL SAY by Reichen Lehmkuhl. Who, turns out was the boyfriend of Lance Bass back in ’06. Don’t hold that against him. Well, the book was quite poignant and a great read. It speaks strongly to the day to day harm that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell plays in the armed forces. In its only goal to destroy strong, dedicated serves members just to guard small minded bigots from growing the fuck up. In this case the US Air Force Academy while Reichen was a cadet during the mid ‘90s. Although it was odd to hear stories of the Academy in that time frame because during that same time, living in Denver, I would only sleep with Air Force Cadets from that academy from Colorado Springs. Small world.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


There is just over a year until our IKEA opens in Denver. I know this because there’s a new blog devoted to its creation. Daddy needs a new sofa, so scurry.

In just over 70 weeks I will no longer have to plan my vacations to only cities that have IKEA. I’ll be free to walk over during lunch to be a bear in the big blue box. Cute plastic crap? Why, yes. Thank you, very much.

Speaking of far off lands, I have a work trip to beautiful downtown Norfolk, Virginia for the remainder of the week. It’s one of those travel and eat with all of your bosses type of trip that makes you be on your best behavior, wear dress shirts, and not cruise the sailors in the airport. However, the first thing I did when the travel department sent my flight Itinerary was to change my seat assignment. Four hours in a middle seat? No thank you. While I’m in luxurious Navy town of Portsmouth, I will try to snap pictures of any hot seamen I see.

Monday, August 16, 2010


I started riding again. On Saturday I got my new rack installed on the car and set out for a ride. I really didn’t go far just across our little village but it was enough to get me back into the love of not having techno in my ear, or the phone ringing, or any other distraction to fill my monkey brain up with needless fluff.

The good thing about living toward the end of the developed outer burbs is that there are miles of miles of neighborhoods that never got completed after the crash, they laid the streets and just walked away. This means I have an entire section of town to ride without any cars trying to run me down.

When I was fourteen I started to feather my hair. I’d spend hours in the bathroom trying to get the Aqua Net to hold my hair into the same position as Steven Carrington’s perfect flip. This was also the summer that I got my first real bike. An orange ten-speed I took out near our house when a semi-trailer decided to run over me. I do remember seeing my ten-speed lying on the road bent in half along with my leg, bent in half. After dying in the ER, countless surgeries and countless screws and plates being inserted into my body I decided that I was never getting near a bike again. Never ever.

And I didn’t for quite awhile. Now my rides are half to exercise and half to exorcise.

Friday, August 13, 2010


What's been on Steve's desk top this week? It's been a Godzilla week....

Find it here.

I kinda wish that Godzilla was holding a huge sword in this one...

Then there's the one that got looks from co-workers...

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


I’ve spent quite a lot of time in the last couple day deciding whether to buy the anabolic steroid known as Stanozlolol. In bodybuilding, stanozolol is used for cutting cycles and is preferred due to the fact that it causes strength increases without excess weight-gain, promotes increases in” cutting” or definition in muscles and will not convert to estrogen.

I’ve thought long and hard about these choices and don’t make them lightly. Yes, I’ve read everything pro and con about the use of roids. Yes, I am informed about the stigma and the major benefits the push up that Stanozolol can introduce into my life. I don’t bring this topic up as a pro/con discussion. I share this with you, really because I share everything else, why not honesty in all aspects of my life.

So. As I sat at coffee the other day I rolled it over in my little monkey brain, seeing this is not a cheap choice at one hundred bucks for a small supply. What did I decide?

I opened another web page and quickly scanned to buy a bike carrier for my car. It should be delivered today. Soon, I’ll be able to strap the bikes to the car and get back out for some biking around Colorado. Fresh air, great adventures, and just maybe I can get the other half to join me.

I’m actually excited about getting back to biking; I’ve let it go for way to long. Colorado has countless and amazing places to ride. I believe I’ve made the right choice.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


I love sharing hotel rooms, it reminds me of the days when my football team would travel for matches. In my mind. It must be the comradeship that comes from “just the guys” hanging out in a hotel room, being big girls.

On the first night of our vacation, Carl-Will took one bed Jerrod-Mike in t’other and I was on the fold out in the hotel room's living room. We had taken a pilgrimage to The Cuff for some mixing with the local boys and got back to the hotel around three in the morning.

We settled in pretty quickly after a failed attempt to find a Denny’s in downtown Seattle. I picked up food from the store in the lobby, said good night to the teammates  roomies  girls and tried to get comfortable on the fold-out sofa.

Soon I realized that the drapes where left open and found myself drawn to the window. I watched people moving around their high-rise apartments across the courtyard of the hotel. "God. That guy is rearranging his apartment in the nude. At three in the morning!" I said this out loud, judging him as I stood there pressed against the glass in just shorts eating a microwave burrito.

Some people are just weird. Rearranging furniture in the nude.

Monday, August 9, 2010


Welcome to the dog days of summer. Early yesterday morning I went for a run in the park. Well... I drove to the park and sat in the air-conditioning as I watched guys run with their sweaty shirtless chests heaving past my car then decided to drive for a ice mocha chiller. I did go..... for a run. 

You've been a good boy? Cazwell wants to buy you ice cream…

 Suddenly I want a drumstick. Real bad.  Check out his latest album on his site,

Friday, August 6, 2010


I decided to get a sore throat this week. It has nothing to do with the teenage tool head I sat next to on a flight last Sunday. The one that kept coughing into my trilling novel about IF George Steinbeck was a fudge packer canner or not. He wore V-neck sweaters! No straight man wears cashmere V-necks!

Well. With random, uncalled for outburst about Steinbeck, you’d think I was in bed. Nope. I’m sitting at my desk at work. I’m sitting here waiting for a project to launch with the government agency that is completely divided on how the project should work. “So… you don’t know how you want this project to work? You’re not sure about funding? You and your superior officers are still split on how to launch such a project? And you want everyone to fly in on the nineteenth to launch this program.”

*Pounds head against walnut veneer desk.*

Well. There you go. Welcome back from vacation. If you need me I’ll be here like a prisoner. And the next military guy who calls me up and says that their “Superior Officer wants something unnecessary and unfounded” I’m going to scream “WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR!”

Too much of an obscure reference? Sorry, it’s the Targetquil talking.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


The last vacation that Fuzzy and I took that did not include a really big and really gay cruise ship was back in ’07. This is when Fuzz snapped this shot….


“My life as it has been lived with dignity." With a Champagne Taurus.

Wandering around Seattle last week we started talking how much we love rental cars. You can really drive anyway you want in a rental car, because there’s nothing like pushing a four door sedan to its limits. At the end of the week you just turn it in and hope they don’t find all the cheese melted into the backseat. It was during this discussion that I hopped up on the hood of our little Nissan. *

*Nissan’s are not designed to hold the weight a very large man. Just remember that.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Some exciting things are happening in Denver's architecture realm as of late. The biggest thing and most exciting for civic planning nerds such as me is that finally we have images of the planned airport train station and hotel. This news comes directly from Denver Check out the plans here.
Although stunning, my first thought goes directly to the Fortress of Solitude……

Maybe the calm smooth white walls can keep the insane Mom’s from running suitcases into my Pumas. Not that I still have scuff marks on a certain white pair or anything. Oh, Superman. Thanks to you! We soon will be able to actually take public transport to Denver's airport without shelling out sixty bucks.

In other Denver’s becoming a real city news. We’z gonna gettz another new fangled art museum. The Clyfford Still Museum has come into it's Final Design.  Also from Denver……

Although, I’m sure that the tax dollars helped to build a museum to host Clyfford Still's head is taking away from much needed football stadium money. Drat.

Monday, August 2, 2010


Since my tiny monkey brain is fried from being on vacation and I walked into eight-seven emails blinking away on my computer screen this morning I really can’t fathom linking words together today. I will say that I LOVE SEATTLE. Awesome. Just frickin awesome. It didn’t hurt that we stayed in a million dollar beach cottage on an Island in the Puget Sound with a large group of amazing friends.

Last Thursday, Fuzzy and I took the car ferry from the “cottage” on Vashon Island to Seattle and bummed around Capitol Hill to see what trouble we could get into. Wow. I am such a gay ghetto, gay. We blew dough on lunching at the hipster spots. Bought a lot of t-shirts and prowled Steamworks. I do have to say that the boys at The Cuff were very friendly indeed. Like this guy…

And what did I learn? Crabs, the ocean kind are creepy.

Now… it’s back to work. Damn it.