Thursday, December 27, 2007


Christmas was great, ate of course way to much. It snowed about 8 inches on Christmas day making it one of the few white Christmas’ in Colorado. We got over to Frank and Kevin’s around noon for sausage bread and the snow was already coming down at a good clip. The Twelve of us always have a “Chinese gift exchange.” We ended up having one of the deadliest exchanges on record. This was due to Fuzzy and Michelle in a head lock over a crock-pot. Accusations and pears where thrown. At one point it was the Straights against the gays. Sad, but true in the end Michelle went home with the crock-pot.
I received season one and two of Dallas on DVD. And yes, it is Dallas the TV show and No, no matter how much you beg, you can not borrow it. Yesterday I called in sick and spent the day hanging out with Fuzz the Boyfriend, took down the tinsel tree, went to the gym then to Daz Bog for coffee. As I was parking the Jeep, I noticed a very well dressed lady carrying about four Macy’s bags on her shoulder, since there around six inches of snow on the ground I thought this lady is dedicated to shopping. Then I realized that she was walking down the street sprinkling ice melt in front of her. I guess to not slip on the ice. She stops and scoops again from one on the Macys’ bags. “Wow,” I said “Macy’s carries ice melt?” To which Fuzz replies, “and it’s probably sixty bucks.”

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Gay Marriage 08

As 2008 comes upon us I think the major thing on everyone's mind will be the election. The stupidity has already started, because of this I plan not to watch the news or yard signs until 2009. The Republican debate once again is the gays and how we as a group are bringing down the sanctity of marriage. I believe that gay marriage may go something like this......">

I believe I'm more of a Perry than a Walter. Now seriously, how can the happiness of Walter and Perry hurt anyone. They just want to be happy, how can this be wrong?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


It’s been 5 days since I said goodbye to Chester.

Chester was my Chesapeake bay retriever. He was also my best friend and companion for 12 years. He was with me when I left Jeff and made the move to Dallas. He greeted me when I came home. He made every strange apartment I’ve had into a home. After a long time struggling with arthritis and hip dysphasia I finally came to the realization that his quality of life was slowly sinking. On Friday the 14th I gave him up. I picked up my best friend and loaded him in to the back of Frank’s Xterra. I scratched his head while I told him how much he meant to me. I whispered in his ear that I loved him and that I’ll see him soon. I let him know that he should be a good boy until then. I quickly shut the door.

True friends prove themselves almost effortlessly, by their actions they express how much of a family you’ve become. This came through clearly when Frank and Fuzzy drove away. The three of them had an appointment at the vet. I was told they sat talking to Chester while the vet inserted a IV needle into his back hip. As Fuzzy scratching Chester’s ears he told him what a great boy he was as he drifted off to a peaceful sleep. I have to believe this, and that he stared and Frank and Fuzzy happy that he had his people around. I pray that he did not wonder where I was.

Monday, December 17, 2007


So here’s another online profile question. What’s up with the guys posing naked with their Christmas tree? I keep see more and more of these. They’re flexing and shoving the business towards the camera right in front of the cute little angle atop the tree in the living room. The best part is when you run across these in the middle of the summer. Maybe it’s some kind of fetish. Now I thought I’ve heard of most fetishes, even a guy with a Santa Claus fetish. But a crush on your tree? What did the poor thing ever do to you?

Here's a pic for ya:

Friday, December 14, 2007


Police said Monday that the gunman who killed two people at a mega church in Colorado Springs and two people at a missionary training school in Arvada was the same troubled 24-year-old man. What the media is telling you is that Matthew Murray is responsible for the crime. But no one is talking about the real motivation behind the attacks. Murray carried and assault rifle, two handguns and more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition on Sunday December 9th. But his motivation goes back to being thrown out of the Youth With A Mission school 5 years ago. This is the right wing youth mission evangelical outreach that brain washes kids to go around the world to “convert” people of other faiths to Christianity. This group has been linked to the motivation behind Muslims extremists’ belief that America is out to destroy Islam. Matthew had been sending hate mail and posting comments and letters online for years. A law enforcement official that spoke on condition of anonymity said it appeared Murray "hated Christians." Through Matthew’s own writings it was found out that Matthew was in fact homosexual. The real reason that Matthew was kicked out of the Youth With a Mission was that it was found out. They turned the backs on him asking him not to return. This was the only peer group Matthew had ever know due to his religious home schooling.

Fast forward to 2006, Ted Haggard pastor of this church publicly admits unspecified "sexual immorality" with the infamous Denver male escort, Mike Jones. This forces Haggard to resign as president of the National Association of Evangelicals, where he held sway in Washington and condemned homosexuality, after Mike claimed to have had drug-fueled trysts with him. The New Life church is rocked, and yet the congregation ends up forgiving Ted then inviting Mike to their services to forgive him. Matthew sees this as utterly hypocritical and is left wondering why his church would forgive Ted and even Mike and yet closed its doors to him. As we now know Matthew directs his anger and hurt directly at the church. Do you believe that this will be a lesson learned or just chalked up to the law enforcement official who stated that Murray just "hated Christians.”

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Roid Rage

I was dragging my ass into the gym last night, through the snow. Getting all ready to pump the guns. As I walked through the parking lot I noticed a very hot gym rat leaving all sweaty and musclie. He then grabbed his key fob out of his jacket and beeped at his SUV. The automatic lift gate raised then upon setting his cute little gym bag inside it lowered and shut. My first thought was “wow, That’s kind of cool.” Then I realized that this guy went to the gym lifted heavy plates above his head for pert neer an hour then had the SUV open for him so he didn’t have to strain himself. Clearly the terrorists have won. Is that saying passé? Like “this shit is bananas!” Anyway, the word for 2007 was wh00t. I guess this is the new word being added to the dictionary, not that I ever use one. A dictionary, not a wh00t. A wh00t is an online expression of glee. As in “This shit is bananas. Wh00t!”
In the middle of shoulder press last night Fuzzy the boyfriend mentioned Christmas presents. We went back and forth from buying presents to waiting for the cruise so we can do something onboard. He then mentioned that he wanted to buy me roids for the cruise. Okay not really roids but a “healthy, legal version.” Well more of a supplement. Ummm, I can’t believe is not steroids! Steroids lite! Steroids free! Don’t get me wrong I want to be huge no matter what. I in no way want to be healthy. I want to be totally ripped and yet be winded if I try to cross the street. But just as he mentioned this, the song “I’m getting nothing for Christmas” hit me but I started singing “I’m getting steroids for Christmas, and I’m going to get backcne.” Apparently I then sang this for quite awhile enough to drive Fuzzy to snap “Or not!” So this is my new Christmas wish, a banned chemical substance.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


So I went to a big gay holiday party on Saturday and it went really well. There was 8 inches of snow just to set the mood. This was the first of Carl’s parties
were I didn’t want to deck someone during the festivities. Frank taught me a new word. “Idick” This stems from the guys who kept showing off their Iphones to anyone that would come within 50 feet. The more they talk about their iphones and how their lives have become so “cosmopolitan” the more they become huge dickheads. Hence Idick, the act of being a dick for showing off your Iphone like anyone really cares. You still live in a city with a larger tax base for football then the museums. Just because you have an Iphone doesn’t make you any less socially awkward.

Speaking of awkward did you see in the news that Al Gore won the Nobel peace prize? During part of this process he and the other Nobel laureates got to meet with President George Bush. During this meeting W stated that if it weren’t for a change of fate President Gore would be greeting him in the oval office to congratulate him for winning the Nobel. What the freaking hell! Why on earth would W win a Nobel. Are they giving them out for vodka drinking and bad articulation?

Friday, December 7, 2007


When I left Dallas I left behind the only man I ever loved. Well, the only fast food man I’ve ever loved. It was a tough decision to leave Dallas and Jack. Jack in the box is pretty much the best fast food on the planet. Did you know that Jack actually invented the drive through? Smart guy, when I left the bar I really didn’t want to have to get out of the Jeep in chaps just to get some food. The drive through was invented just to save the general public form having to see my 2:30AM bare ass.

When Dalton and I left Dallas it was with a heavy heart. I knew I was coming to a place that didn’t have Jack in the Box. Yes, there really was a place. A city that had no yummy Breakfast Jacks or 99-cent tacos. Now Denver had Jack in the boxes back in the 90s. But then they released their e.coli burger. A flesh-eating bacterium on a bun. After that they pulled out of the state. I had to suffer in somewhat silence all this time. That was until I was perusing through the Denver Post and found and article that my man was coming back to Denver. I felt renewed, like my man was coming back from war. Some sort of fast food war where they fought with sweet, sweet ketchup. The only problem was they didn’t have a grand opening date. So after five times of driving across town, did I mention that it’s completely across town? They finally opened and I am now reunited with my yummy breakfast jack and my sweet antenna ball headed man, Jack. If you want to go hit me up I’ll go any time. Or you can find me there with a tray of jack’s burgers and sweet ketchup on my chin.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

GayJeeps has ranked the top gay cars for 2007. The #1 car is a total surprise to me. The Toyota Yaris came out right above the Saab 9-3. Now I believe the Saab, I have dated no less then 3 guys that drove Saabs. But the Yaris, Seriously? This tiny little car just seams so not gay. Now if they said the Prius I’d understand. From my experience in the gay ghettos I would think that the Jeep Wrangler would be up on the list and yet no Jeeps or trucks where listed.

This is not just because I happen to drive a Jeep Wrangler but more based on my on dating and just experience with “the gays.”

Yes It’s time for one of StevieB’s rules of dating. My rule on cars are, I don’t date guys that drive them. Especially after dating 3 guys that drove Saabs, from then on I decided that I will only date a guy if he drove a truck. I’m just more attracted to the kind of guy that would drive a big butch truck. So there.
You just can’t ignore the gay Jeeps of America. I really need to Google that. Then maybe start that as a gay subclass, because that’s what the gay community needs is more subclasses. Then spinning off from this group they’ll have Lesbian Jeeps of America then Bear Jeeps then Furry Jeeps. That’s if you’re gay and think you’re a dog but want the wind to blow through your fur as you drive. As a gay Jeep Dog?
Seriously, I’m going to start GayJeeps. “ We’re here, We’re Queer. We like to drive around without our shirts so you can see our large and manly pecs!” Catchy hu? I’m going to have Dalton make T-shirts.
If your one of the un-lucky and don’t have a Jeep, you can still join but as a Jeep Admirer. Who’s with me? I need help pouring beer at the Eagle Beer Bust.

Monday, December 3, 2007

45 and not a day to soon

It’s 45 days until the next big gay cruise, man I can’t wait. I am so ready for a break. The whole being a responsible adult thing is getting me down. I’m a HR manager which really means that I baby-sit adults. Today was no different. Someone came crying into my office to say that she caught her boyfriend in bed with another woman. She then cried for about 5 minuets. How did I end up with a job where I have to be nice to people? At what point to do we start living from vacation to vacation? Well it does not really matter because I’m going on the largest gay cruise ever. Yippy!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

My Christmas Sixpack

I just received my invite to the annual cookie exchange. Wow, that sounded really gay didn’t it? Even for me. Since I’ve shared my adventure from years past I think I just might not participate. Oh I’m going, Hello open bar but I just may pass of the baking part.
I’m desperately trying to cut some muscles and for that I need to lose 5 more pounds by the cruise in January. As muscle gains go I’m getting to the point where I have good mass but you can’t really see the progress due to layer of “insulation.” I’m now believing that everyone has a six pack it’s just hidden under layers of fat. So baking holiday joy may not be the best for me.

Thank you Carl and Will, now this what I needed a Chistmas party. I’m still not dragging that garland crap out of the closet but there is something about holiday parties that gets me happy. Well, that and Joe will be there. God he’s hot. Sometimes I just stare at his muscular forearms and giggle.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Picture Pectoral Perfect

Gay men as a whole must be afraid of technology. Maybe not afraid, just not sure all the benefits of their technology. Yes, I know I’m generalizing or as the Department of Home land security is so apt in I’m “profiling.” The gays love the newest and the very best. Do you think Apple would be gaining huge market shares if it were not for the shiny MacPro or as I do the clean lines of the Macbook? The gays drive the market in so many cool, shiny and expensive toys.
Why do I see so many guys unable to use their cameras? As you may or not know I’m am a “profile junkie” I spend hours on sites from Manhunt to Big Muscle Bear and every web site between. It seams to me that every profile I check out has the “I’m taking my own picture in the bathroom mirror” picture. Why is this? You can clearly see that the camera is a very nice new and not some sort of 70s Polaroid. All these cameras must have a timer? Do we as a people not know how to use the technology that we possess? I say yes. That or we’re focused on making our pecs look as big as possible. In fair disclosure I in the past was one of these bathroom guys. It took months to realize that the shower behind me was a filthy mess.
In the last couple of years we’ve all seen those independent companies pop up just to sell your crap on Ebay. How about a chain that will take your photo posed however you’d like. You could finally break out those chaps hanging in the closest. This company will give you your pictures to load them on the WWW. Oh wait, they’re called photographers. They hang out in photography studios. Never mind.

Friday, November 30, 2007


It’s that time of year again.

It's Christmas, although that is the cause of my troubles. Let me just start by telling you about this party I went to last year over at my friends Carl's house. Well it's not a house, its really a warehouse full of art and weird bits of junk. Carl planned one of those "cookie exchange" parties. Please keep in mind that we're a group are 30-Year-old gay men and not 65-year-old Methodist women.

If you've ever had the pleasure to be invited to one of these death marches with red and green sweaters you know that you spend 3 hours making 3 dozen cookies just to let your friends mock your baking abilities. When the exchange begins you are required to line up and pick up one of each of the most God awful waste of sugar and food coloring you've ever seen. You have to pick one of each or the person behind you will be offended because he spent 3 hours making candy cane shaped abortions.

I quickly got kicked out of line after starting to eat the only cookie I liked, which just happened to be the one I brought, sad as they were. Please keep in mind I had a downloaded recipe that had the first step "Locate your kitchen." The act of eating my own treats upset some of the sweater-wearing homosexuals. It did not end well, my fist step into Christmas season and I had a small group of partygoers correcting my "cookie sharing ability." Damn. It is true; I do not play well with others

Thursday, November 29, 2007


I’m not feeling the Christmas spirit, not even a little bit. The thought of having to pull out the lights and garland makes me queasy. In my office they turned on the canned holiday music at 5AM on DATG –or- the Day After Thanksgiving as we call it here at work. Datg? Seriously? That will just get you warm and fuzzy. How can you not care about something so damn happy? Maybe that will change when I get my bonus. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a direct deposit.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007


I survived Thanksgiving. That is an accomplishment in it’s own right. The fact that I went the whole week and not once had to see or interact with a single member of my family is truly a blessing. Its not that I hate my kin folk. It’s just a painful experience every time. Suddenly I’m completely invisible. It’s the whole “avoid talking to or about the queer thing.”
The last time I went to a family gathering a sister went out of her way to introduce me to other guests in fear I would say, “Hi there, I fuck man ass.” She then introduced my partner as my “friend” I have a lot of friends none of which do I rim.
When people go out of their way to make sure you know that speaking about who you are will not be tolerated that’s when I’m ready to decline the next invite. That or show up with a black trannie on my arm.

Here's a pic of us hanging out at Thanksgiving

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Dalton , Neil and Ernie

There really is something about the last day of work before Thanksgiving. Dalton flies in from NY tomorrow. I’m down playing this tremendously from Fuzzy the boyfriend. Dalton is my ex but, he really is an amazing friend. I don’t really know if constantly talking about how fucking cool your ex is to your current boyfriend is that healthy. I try not to giggle when I think of cool things Dalton and I did that Fuzz I have not as of yet.

So, I see Dalton tomorrow, wow. Giggle. It would take way to long to decipher why Dalton and I aren’t together. Mostly it has to do with me being a jerk and since this is my blog I’m not going into it. If you want the truth go read Dalton ’s blog. He doesn’t have one but if he did I’m sure it would be mostly about me. Or not. I’m sure it would have nothing to do with the great life he has in Brooklyn .

So Turkey day is just two days away, Every year I get up and watch the thanksgiving day parade. When I was a kid I dreamed of being there in Harold’s square. Now that I’ve been outside of Macy’s and have seen the square. Not so much. The best part of the parade last year was Doogie Howser or Neil Patrick Harris being a HUGE QUEEN out on the street. Girl was freezing and bitter’ bout it. Did this happen when I was a kid and never noticed, I hope not. Although I do remember Ernie and Bert walking hand in hand though Harold’s Square and wishing it was me holding Ernie's hand.

Monday, November 19, 2007


We went to lunch yesterday at Subway. As we waited in line we realized that there were two Subway associates working, an under aged pregnant girl and a skateboard dude from "regular lahunga beach." Dude, dude. Dude. The wait was long, very long. When I got to the glass my sandwich was a lot for dude to comprehend. Suddenly roast beef was missing, Dude asked Pregos “Uhh where’s the beef?” Okay so anyone over the age of 35 would of laughed. Where’s the beef?
Get it? So I laughed, Dude didn’t get it, he’s 12. Pregos replied “In the cooler” in a you Idiot kind of inflection. He walks into the cooler and is gone for a while. My stomach growls.Time passes, my laptop's OS gets more out dated. He comes out, “where is the Beef?” I laugh again. Pregos says “ up on the left” the door to the freezer closes. A while passes finally Pregos goes and opens the cooler door. Dude is standing in the middle of the cooler just staring into space. Let’s just say it took awhile to get my damn beef sandwich.

Sunday, November 18, 2007


I was out at dinner last night with some friends and as conversations always go our talk came to systemic, chronic diseases. Drugs, treatments and doctors were all discussed. Keeping healthy or preventive steps was the order of the day. Two of the friends are positive with a zero viral load and one has diabetes. At one point I stopped and realized that I had nothing to add due to not having any personal experience. I thought, “How boring am I.” Then some sort of odd guilt set in, Mormons aren’t permitted to have guilt, maybe gays ones do?

I was listening to a podcast the other day and they referred to HIV – AIDS as an issue in the past. They did do this in all reverence like referring to victims in the towers on 9/11. Yet it seams odd to be in a day where the STD sirens are not blaring and we now refer this as a chronic illness. Now if you say these words “chronic illness” in front of someone who worries about the health insurance due to that the drugs they will be taking for the rest of their life’s would be three thousand a month if it where not for the “safety net” of the drug coverage of their insurance you just might get slapped. Being a HR Manager I talk to employees about health benefits. It’s very telling when medical and drug coverage is discussed.

I guess when you start to grow up everyone has choices to make and deal with the crap that’s thrust apron them, or not thrust upon them. It reminds me of the Oingo Bingo hit Just Another Day.

Saturday, November 17, 2007


Last night I spoke a sentence that I never dreamed would fall from my lips. I shouted up the stairs “Well put some pants on and we’ll drive down to the Wal-marts and see if they have your aluminum Christmas tree!”

I stopped for a second when I spoke this wondering if Clinton Ford or Rupaul ever yelled this to their boy friends. Why you ask would I of all people be yelling this to my boyfriend? Me, Mr. “ I only shop at Puma and the Mac store” saying this to a former Mr. International Leather finalist? Funny you ask, see Fuzzy wants an aluminum Christmas tree. I think it’s because last year I talked him into buying a 10’ Douglas fir just to see it turn brown in about 2 days. I quietly drug it to it’s early grave on the 10th of December. Swearing that the tree preservative was Yule tide cyanide. He swears this is not the case, you know he lies. He heard that they have “real aluminum trees” at Wal-mart. I started to ask if I should bring the aluminum axe to cut it down but since it’s early November it would of started dropping foil nettles by Thanksgiving.

Off we go to the evil empire. Have you been in a Wal-Mart? It’s like the renaissance feastival sans the turkey legs but still with all the chubby couples. This one had a creepy Pat Booneish quality. We get to “Christmas land” which up to three days ago was “Patio land” to fight through screaming kids getting in touch with the Christmas Spirit to find a 6’ aluminum tree that Joseph and Mary would have given birth under had they not saw the patio furniture over on isle 4 instead. Fuzzy soon falls in love and I of course encourage him thinking “the man is insane” but what the hell. I will not have to haul this one out of his house in the middle of the night like the Eight is Enough Christmas special. As we left the tree display I saw a helpful Wal-elf and asked where the Menorahs where. She looked over at a glowing Joseph for a second and said that I she thought they were next to sporting goods. Oy vey.

Friday, November 16, 2007


I have to admit that I’ve been involved in an affair. This relationship has perplexed me for quite awhile. Not really knowing where I stood, I spent my Lunches trying to figure it out for a month now. My courtship with the Quiznos Subs lady started as soon as they opend the Quiznos next to my gym. Hoping to lose some weight for the next gay cruise I’ve been trying to lose some of my belly. I’m kind of muscly but you can’t really see it under my layer of insulation. I’m also a creature of habit and have been eating Cobb salads with Honey mustard several times a week. I’m now down 10 pounds.
I step up to the glass and order the same thing every other day. “Cobb to go with honey mustard.” I’ve been giving this request to my Quisnos lady, some days she has a look of appreciative sympathy. She greets me kindly, rings me up tell me to have a great day. Other days I’m a new person on a new day, unfamiliar and alien.
Today was out of the ordinary, she asked three times what I was having, four times if it was to go. Then could not remember how to ring me up. She then stopped and told me that she no longer had a short term memory “due to my age” she said to explain. My first thought was if she remembered the blue cheese on my salad. Then upset with myself for never even noticing that my Quiznos lady had to be in her early 70s. This chain of thought was interrupted however by her placing of the third of four drink cups into my hand. So this is why she’s been so hot and cold in our relationship. It all made since in that moment. I quickly told her that she was fine and not to worry about it. She smiled at me like I wish if I had a mother or grandmother they would look at me. Just as she turned to toss my credit card into the box with my salad.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Fudge covered conservative ISO unicorn lover

Have you heard the one about the gay prostitute that took down the right wing preacher Ted Haggard by outing him as a fudge packer? Then he wrote a book about it. Yes. I believe that Mike Jones did the right thing due to Ted the preacher fostering a culture of anti-gay hate and fictitious family values, and yet he was going behind his wife to pound a guy in heated fudge butt smacking. So good for Mike the gay prostitute for coming forward. Anyway, Fuzzy and I are behind Mike (sorry, no pun) in line at Das Bog this morning. He's big muscled, great arms not that I like that on a man but I would bend him over in a second. Soooo he gets to the counter and he opens his mouth to order and this huge gold lamee purse falls out, glitter and unicorns flew everywhere. Fuckity, fuck fuck!! Can we please have a gay in the news that doesn't sound like Carol Channing? Even if he does look like Colt’s Gage? I you haven’t seen Gage, check him out. I love that I have Gage from Colt is on my MySpace friends list.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


A while back I decided that I needed, not wanted needed a sport bike. Yes, I know what you just thought; He's going to kill himself. I know this because everyone I have told my dream to has said, " Ooooh- are you sure, you could kill yourself." Maybe this is because my friends have witnessed my.... physical prowess. Like this pridefest when Carl had to contain himself when I fell off a stone wall at Civic Center. Carl was nice enough to say, " I did the same thing." That's what friends do; they lie to make you feel better. Although there has been no sugar coating the motorcycle and I've come to realize that I'm just like Ralphie. Remember A Christmas Story? All Ralphie wanted was that Red Rider be-be gun with a compass in the stock. He dreamed of Christmas morning when He'd rush down stairs to find his new trusty rifle to keep the house safe from bandits. He dreamed of all the great things he'd do with his rifle. Well I have a dream just like Ralphie, a gay motorcycle dream. I'll rush down stairs to find a Yamaha R6 under the tree. I dream of taking my new bike for a spin around Cheeseman Park down then to Daz Bog. As I park right in front and all the muscle guys stare as I take off my helmet to let the wind blow through my long luxurious hair. Uh.....sorry, I don't have nor do I want long luxurious hair. That and Muscle guys don't hang out at Daz Bog. Here's a side note, what happened to all the Muscle guys in this city? Welcome to Steve off topic, I'll be your host. 
A Christmas story keeps coming back to me, I feel like I went to talk to Santa and sitting upon his lap I blurted out " I want a Yamaha R6s sport bike in cherry red. Santa shakes this head and said " You'll kill your self kid" as he pushes me down the slide with his boot (am I the only one who feels that was sort of Homo-erotic?)

I have to say Dalton was the best when he said " I really don't want to come just for your funeral" to which I stated that I was going to be cremated and have myself mailed to him so he could keep me under his sink next to the scrubbies. Can you just picture it, years from now Dalton comes home from the Gallery and his hunky bear of a lover greets him stating that he tried scrubbing out the tub after his title win of Mr. Bear NYC but the cleaner wasn't very good, to which Dalton replies "oh that's not Ajax that's my stupid Ex that bought a sport bike" then Mr. Bear says " He died on a sport bike? Didn't you tell him he'd kill himself?" They then both just shake their heads. 
Even with the threat of Mr. Bear NYC using me for Ajax I still lay in bed at night dreaming of lassoing varmints from the back of my Yamaha. Making matters worse Fuzzy and I were to get bikes together, although he is more sensible and is getting another cruiser, a Yamaha Roadliner, 700 pounds of red and chrome. Fuzzy now has his bike and I'm still sitting here like it's Christmas eve, tormented by all the dreams of my bike and yet having all the swarms of friends hovering around singing "you'll kill yourself - you'll kill yourself."

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

My ipod on a treadmill, Vanessa Williams and a Katana

I have found that I'm addicted to my ipod; yea the music side of things is fine. It's the TV shows. I began looking forward to doing the treadmill at the gym just to watch shows that I've down loaded from itunes. I run out to my Jeep at lunch just to watch shows on my little 3" by 3" screen. The worst is thank to Jerrod. He got me hooked on a show called Ugly Betty. 
Now I hate "broadcast stuff." I have not listened to FM radio since Sept. 12th 2001. I hate Broadcast TV, with its reality shows. Of course this does not include the news, Dalton and Carl busted me one day having 2 TVs on to CNN and NBC and walking back and forth just in case I missed something. 
Back to Ugly Betty. Have you seen this, It's fucking cute. I of course always missed it on the tube, with all its commercials and set time to make you watch when it wants you to, but I found it on itunes. I spent the 15 bucks and down loaded it to my sexy Macbook and to my ipod. This is things get scary, ME wanting to run on a treadmill?? I would never before this ipod thing just because the treadmills didn't have ashtrays. So here's when I knew I had a problem, besides wanting to keep running even after the timer runs down on the bastardized version of the Jetson's dog walker just to see if Betty keeps the Gucci bag or trades it for a huge favor to be determined later, it's because I had a night mare. 
So in this nightmare, I'm being chased by Vanessa Williams AKA Wilhelmina Slater through the streets of NY. Yeah she has that Lesbian from the Bravo show Workout to help her, but that's another download. So she's chasing me, probably for my wicked fashion sense, which we all know is a dream state (I'm always really built in my dreams.) So we do Battle for a while, that woman can fight by the way. She had a lot of ninja moves like in the House of Fling Daggers, but with an "I just got my booted from a 1983 pageant" kind of anger but in a Vera Wang suit. So I think my ninja skills were equally matched, I do remember there was a part of a "Bruce Willis" hot wiring a car to stop Vanessa from some horrible take over of NY scene. That were right in the middle of the big final fight scene were I wake up. Damn!!! Damn!!! I almost chopped off the head of the evil Vanessa Williams with a Katana and now you want me to get up and go to work as a mild mannered office worker?? Are ya fucking kidding me? So if ya see her, tell her I'm looking for her, and she'll pay. Pay dearly.

Monday, November 12, 2007


We were hanging out over at Frank and Kevin’s house last night to watch American Idol, which I hate. But I’m a lemming, so there. We were talking about on-line sites and how much I enjoy the on-line porn. I enjoy on-line porn like other guys like football, I plan my weekend around it and I could sit around and watch it for hours.
Anyway I had mentioned that I went on to a certain bear web site designed for cruising and hooking up. So I signed up or in, or what the hell-ever (all the rest of them are on this certain bear site.) I entered all the info they requested and submitted a pic or two. I then waited for the confirmation saying that I can start trolling for colon. It doesn't come. The next day I get an official E mail from this bear site saying that I'm turned down. Yeah, turned down. It read something like I might fit better at a gay / muscle site. Then they listed a few gay muscle sites. Ummmm WHAT?? Sooooooooo lets just stop there, shall we. I don’t want for this to come off wrong, Okay.
I was turned down by a bear on bear fuck feast web site Iike I was applying for a home loan?!
Ummmmmmmmm what?
Yeah, me. I can shove my finger up a hairy guys ass and find the "G spot" in about 3 seconds.
I have 18 biceps.
I drive a full size truck.
I have Chaps DAMN IT!
Suddenly I'm all hurt that I'm not one of the cool kids. Turned down by a gay overweight fuzzy male web site?
Do I care?
Okay, not really but it was kind of funny.
The best part was when I told this story last night; someone thought I was making it up. So I'm not bear. GRRRRR.
Not enough anyway, should I buy flannel?
I did watch Star Trek when it was on.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Road trip

So, I'm leaving on a road trip tomorrow to take my partner of 4 years to New York. He's moving to Brooklyn, this is something that he's always wanted; all his friends have ended up in the city. So I'm trying to be supportive, trying to keep his sprits up and keep him focused on what a great thing this will be (leaving his job, selling his car and moving to a strange city.) He'll finally get to live in the city with all of his friends and close to all the theater and museums that he loves.

It just hit me about an hour ago that my lover/partner and friend is leaving. He had been my very closest friend through the years since we met in Dallas and I always knew that he wanted to live in a bigger city, Dallas was to small and Denver was REALLY too small, I know that living in NY will be the very best thing that could possible happen to D. So when ya know that a friend wants something badly ya just help out however ya can.

God damn, I don't need this to be a downer. But Suddenly I'm really pissed and sad. When ya sleep next to someone for all these years then suddenly their gone. That hurts my head.

We're driving his moving van through to Brooklyn; and I've mapped out all the fast food places I want to stop at. Runza, Steak and Shake and the best White Castle. I'm pissed that there is not a single Jack n the Box on the way but HELLO White Castle. Leave it to me to be dumped by a guy, help him move across the country to get away from me, then be excited about fast food joints along the way. Go figure.

All I Want is a Room Somewhere

The lease is up on our apartment at the end on February. I'm getting some flack from friends because I've started to pack up the house. I think it makes sense to pack up all the crap you're not using and get it ready so you can keep it out of the way, but I'm crazy like that. Today's blog post; however, about trying to finding an apartment.  I think I'd rather be flogged on a 17th century sailing vessel then look for an apartment. 

I found some really cool listings on-line in the Denver central area, but find that they're with the same rental company. I go to their office and meet Nathan, a nice guy who shows me some cool places I might select. I go back to he's office and fill out the application. Now keep in mind that I'm in HR so I know about the slow process on considering an application. As soon as I drop is off that little voice starts. There sooo gonna turn your down, They are going to ask for $7000 dollars up front, what are ya thinking and my favorite do really want this apartment?

I guess it's the whole approval thing, it sucks. Nathen states he'll call me and let me know on Monday, Then all day Monday.... Nothing, I start to REALLY worry, (like I'm his whore waiting for the next time he can get away from he's wife.) I call and leave a voice mail. Nothing. So later on Tuesday he calls. "Oh yeah, Steve your fine" like I'm his bitch waiting for him to tell me he loves me. Aaaaaaaagh!! So then he gives me to Trisha, I really don't know why other then he's tired of me, who will find a time for me to see the really cool pad over on Speer Blvd. "Let me check with the resident and I'll call you back to schedule a time." That was Wednesday of last week. Now I'm Trisha's whore. I'm jumping at my phone when It rings hoping It's Trisha telling me she loves me.