Thursday, December 13, 2007

Roid Rage

I was dragging my ass into the gym last night, through the snow. Getting all ready to pump the guns. As I walked through the parking lot I noticed a very hot gym rat leaving all sweaty and musclie. He then grabbed his key fob out of his jacket and beeped at his SUV. The automatic lift gate raised then upon setting his cute little gym bag inside it lowered and shut. My first thought was “wow, That’s kind of cool.” Then I realized that this guy went to the gym lifted heavy plates above his head for pert neer an hour then had the SUV open for him so he didn’t have to strain himself. Clearly the terrorists have won. Is that saying passé? Like “this shit is bananas!” Anyway, the word for 2007 was wh00t. I guess this is the new word being added to the dictionary, not that I ever use one. A dictionary, not a wh00t. A wh00t is an online expression of glee. As in “This shit is bananas. Wh00t!”
In the middle of shoulder press last night Fuzzy the boyfriend mentioned Christmas presents. We went back and forth from buying presents to waiting for the cruise so we can do something onboard. He then mentioned that he wanted to buy me roids for the cruise. Okay not really roids but a “healthy, legal version.” Well more of a supplement. Ummm, I can’t believe is not steroids! Steroids lite! Steroids free! Don’t get me wrong I want to be huge no matter what. I in no way want to be healthy. I want to be totally ripped and yet be winded if I try to cross the street. But just as he mentioned this, the song “I’m getting nothing for Christmas” hit me but I started singing “I’m getting steroids for Christmas, and I’m going to get backcne.” Apparently I then sang this for quite awhile enough to drive Fuzzy to snap “Or not!” So this is my new Christmas wish, a banned chemical substance.

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