Monday, September 14, 2009

I’ve been eating my best friend?

I came across this picture on my continuing quest of the internets.

The caption should read: Kids, you like meat? What do you say to the nice man giving you his meat?

This photo reminds me of Moo. My family bred and traded in American Quarter Horses, in the middle of nowhere. Being raised on a ranch sounds like fun for a little boy, unless you’re a fay little boy who cares more about “his” new name brand vacuum then getting dirty in the hay loft. When my Dad tried to teach me how to rope a steer I spent twenty minutes atop my horse clutching pearls and crying for the poor little cow. There’s a picture of that somewhere.

When I was five, I befriended a rough and tumble cow…named Moo. He was his own cow, going against the herd. Like me. We spent hours together lying in the fields, until the day he was gone. I thought for weeks that he had abandoned me, my cow. When I stopped crying into my pillow I mustered up the strength and nonchalantly asked my Dad what had happen to that cow we had.

“His down in the chest freezer” I was told. All those steaks you’ve been enjoying? That’s him. I started to get dizzy; I’ve been eating my best friend? Oh, God! What kind of monster am I?

For the next several years, it was a war at the dinner table. My parents never knowing why I wouldn’t eat the thick, grilled steak in front of me. On a completely unrelated note, sometimes my friends wonder why I’ve never introduced them to my parents.


Wonder Man said...

That's a sad tale. Your dad didn't hold back at all.

Dead Robot said...

I can totally see Dreamworks doing this in CGI and 3D. Sell it!

Dyl said...

"What do you say to the nice man giving you his meat?" :-)

My sister went through this; my family went to visit my uncle's farm and while there my sister fell in love with a chick which she ended up taking home. It was looked after til it became an adult rooster. You can see where this is going. She didn't eat chicken for a long time after she found out.

I like DR's idea about movie rights. Maybe a Touchstone horror version.

Homer said...

When I was about 5 we had a small cow in our barn that was a pet for us kids. One day my father announced we were going to take the cow for a ride in a trailer. All five of us kids got into the station wagon and someone asked where we were taking Bessie. He told us with a smile that she was going to the slaughter house and was going to become meat. Cue all five of us kids sobbing. He was furious when Bessie came back in little wrapped packages that none of us would eat her. My parents had to give away most of the meat. This is one of the things that I have never forgiven that SOB for.

emcitychris said...

LOL - I grew up an acreage and knew from the time I can remember that the livestock became food and it never bothered me. I raised many lambs and hogs from birth to plate and never worried about it. Maybe that explains my callous outlook on life!

the replicant said...

I always wondered what became of the family pig, "Bacon."

Freddyeyes said...

I love meat and especially bacon!