Thursday, September 24, 2009

DAMN YOU, WILLIAM PHELPS ENO!


The lovely little village in which we reside in, some time ago decided to rip out the major intersections and replace them with traffic circles, or Roundabouts. I guess they wanted to class up the joint, make it seem like we’re all British. I like them because I can fly through them shirtless with the top down on the jeep at high speed blaring Rammstein. All, without spilling my martini.

The latest roundabout had sat half finished for quite awhile, I’m guessing until today. At 5:00AM I’m sheepishly heading for the intrastate, trying to get the iPod to play some System of a Down when suddenly the curve to the left around the construction project overnight turned into a sudden swerve to the right. That’s when I screamed:

“Damn you William Phelps Eno! Damn you for being the Father of American traffic safety!"

Well….I would of screamed that if I was able to reach my iPhone and Google “American traffic circle” but it was resting peacefully between the passenger seat and the door upon my newly two dimensional banana.

5 comments:

Michael Rivers said...

In Minneapolis, we recently had a Super Target open close to a mall and several eating places. Round abouts were put in on the streets near all this. Why, I've never figured out. Traffic still slows, you still stop and wait for others to merge etc. What is the point?

Wonder Man said...

I agree, but I'm like Christine on the road

Dead Robot said...

GOD HATES TRAFFIC CIRCLES!

and fags.

The Mutant said...

Traffic circles? Oh, you crazy Americans and your whacky naming conventions.

Stevie, remember safety first... If you're going to be balancing a coffee, playing with your iPod and trying to google on your iPhone with the top down on the Jeep, always remember to wear sunscreen. Those UV rays are dangerous.

Dyl said...

Hah. You think you've got it bad. I had to drive through Hemel Hempstead this morning. They have something called the magic roundabout.

http://listverse.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/msn-magic-roundabout-470x350-tm.jpg