Monday, August 30, 2010

Like a Rainbow

Over the weekend we went to the Denver Modernism Show. A trade show dedicated to all things Mid-century architecture and collectibles. We went because well…. We’re gay and it’s the law to like collecting quirky things. If we were twenty years older we would have been searching for the last bit of Erté for our collection at the Art Deco fair. So, in flip-flops and a strong understanding of late Bauhaus we marched.

During our search through chrome home furnishing and ironic art, the six of us started to discuss our childhood involving the Sears or Wards Catalogs. Here in the US you had the Sears Catalog or the Montgomery Ward’s catalogue to buy from. We were Wards.

When I was around eight my Mom took me the catalogue office inside our local Wards' department store. I remember that we were finally going to buy new towels and since there are seven kids, she was going to buy a lot of towels. I remember being so excited to have new towels to fold over and over on the unused towel bar in our heavily used bathroom. Since the plastic tiles in this room were baby blue I thought a nice Sea Foam green would accentuate nicely. As we approached the counter I explained my color palette idea like Candice on Divine Design would sit down with her clients, tossing around the color story I had in mind for this particular room of our over sized ranch house.

Quickly my design expertise was being ignored when my Mother started to order one of every color. “Like a rainbow” she explained. “No!” I shrieked. “How will I be able to folded out an entire splash of color if the towels don’t match?!” I started to panic; my design was being hacked apart. Doesn’t she understand her designer has her bathroom’s color story set?

I did what every eight year old gay boy did. I threw a tantrum in the middle of the Montgomery Ward’s catalogue department screaming that I wanted all matching towels. Candice Olsen would have done the same. She too would have been marched crying to the car.

For years I had to triple fold and hang a green hand towel on top of a red bath towel, which is why to this day I only have all white, Egyptian cotton towels.


Dead Robot said...

Good for you for throwing a hissy. It sent a strong signal to your mom (and the shop staff) that there was a budding gay on the rise.

Blobby said...

....and then you're mom took you to ballet class!

Well, at least you didn't act like Chico. That guy gives me the creeps!

word verficiation: reaming

Wonder Man said...

Egyptian cotton towels are the best

Aaron said...

I totally agree about Chico he seems off somehow. I want to like Candice's designs I really do but she throws so many damn vases and knick knacks in every room she does that I don't know how anyone can move around in them. So much dusting...

Homer said...

So awesomely gay. We got towels out of the detergent box, the detergent that Dolly Parton hawked on her television show. I believe my mother still has some of them, 35+ years later.