Monday, November 7, 2011

Bare Bear Thanksgiving

While watching the Bronco game yesterday, I might I purposed an all naked Thanksgiving.

This fall, I have been included on an open invitation to go our local bear bar and hang out with a group of football aficionados. Sundays seem to be my homework day, so I mostly turn down the invite. Although this past weekend was packed with dining out among friends, spending Sunday Brunch at Pappadeauxs, I still managed to write four pages on the Protestant Reaffirmation.

With my Sunday morning run completed, dashing out a chunk of my fifteen page term paper on how Martin Luther kicked some Pope ass, and my belly full of seafood buffet I had no excuse but to belly-up to the bar and enjoy a televised football game.

Sometime during the third quarter, the conversation turned to clothing optional resorts around the country. My furry friend, Bear, travels around the world spending all his free time getting naked and enjoying nude beaches, hotels and resorts. This is the point when I invited him and his partner over for Thanksgiving. A naked Thanksgiving. As the words came out of my mouth I immediately flashed to my new dining room chairs. My new upholstered dining-room chairs. My joke turned back on me.

Suddenly I had purposed having a pack of football watching, large and hairy bears to come sit on my soft surfaces. In my head I turned into Mrs. Hyacinth Bucket. I flashed to a group of naked Onslows brushing up against my expensive wallpaper and drinking from my Royal Doulton with the hand-painted periwinkles, whilst in the all together.

Apparently I had proposed the best idea around Thanksgiving since canned cranberry sauce. I just need to stock up on trash bags. I’ll spend my turkey day shouting “stay on the bin bag! Stay on the bin bag!


cb said...

First of all, I think carefully placed towels on the seating areas is not only a good idea, but also just good nude etiquette.

Second-- when the Protestants reaffirmed themselves, did they look in a mirror and say "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog gone it- Jesus loves me!"

Pac said...

My suggestions: 1) Plastic slipcovers for the dining chairs and all upholstered furniture. This will not only keep your furniture IKEA warehouse fresh, it will discourage anyone from sitting at all or lingering past dessert.

2) Full body hair nets.

3) Invite me. Please?

Gooster said... Need I say more?

Anonymous said...

Any good nudist would bring their own seat towel.

Plus, I'm with Pac, how can I get on that invite list

Wonder Man said...

take pics

Damien Oz said...

I'm with WM - take pics.

meanwhile - the Hyacinth Bucket reference had my snort my coffee out my nose....