Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Thick Neck Steve


The last time I put on a work dress shirt was the end of May 2011.  My work dress code since then has been comic character T-shirts and gym shorts.  Washing and underwear was optional.  Now, I am returning to an office setting for a new job.  My days of working from home are done, and not a minute too soon. The gym shorts will only be good for the gym and the dress shirts will be coming out of the closet. Literally.

Yesterday I pulled every bit of work attire and completely reworked my closet. The dress shoes were under massive layers of Pumas, and I found the suit jackets and white shirts so far back I had to use a machete to get through the Structure polo shirt section. They were just hanging there in plastic dry-cleaning bags, thinking they were never to be worn again.

After trying on the ol’ work wear, I discovered two things: My waist is smaller, which is great, but my neck has gotten much larger in a years time. How the heck does someone lose weight everywhere, yet gain weight in their neck?  So, I’m a thick neck?

I now have an entire wardrobe of dress shirts that cannot be buttoned at the neck. This is kind of important, because I need to sport a tie.  They really need to make a dress shirt with a Sansabelt like option for the neck. Sans-a-collar?  Maybe I just need to go on a crash neck diet. I know that rushing out and getting liposuction in my neck may cost just as much as replacing all of my shirts. Until then, I will be the nicely dressed chap grabbing some lunch with some of the other gals from the typing pool whilst my head turns blue from lack of oxygen. 

10 comments:

  1. Actually I think that the photo you used shows what you need. I don't recall what they are called, but it is a button and clip arrangement that attaches to the button and has an extender with a button end that holds the collar snug. Time to go down to a good men's habadasher and pick up a few. Like collar stays, you will have to remember to take them off when you do the laundry, but it might be an inexpensive way to get through until you get a few paychecks coming in.

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  2. As someone with a 24" neck... I find that if you tie your tie properly, you can always go without the top button fastened. But then again, this is silicon valley, I only wear ties for job interviews.

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  3. Good Luck Stevie B! My neck size grew after I started training - its actually from doing shoulder work outs. Maybe its the same for you. Either way it means you need to get yourself some new shirts.

    Cheers,
    BosGuy

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  4. Well, it's an excuse to go shopping

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  5. Here's what you need: http://www.amazon.com/Wonder-Button-Collar-Expanders-Extender/dp/B0008172YS

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  6. I have to buy expensive tall shirts since my arms are way too long. I feel your pain.

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  7. Sans-a-collar. I love it. I would totally wear it...my neck size has also increased considerably over the past few years.

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  8. The man’s got it. Love the looks for summer.
    Sean wears the clothes rather than them wearing him, it’s important to look at ease and comfortable, lived-in.
    For anyone interested in prep style, I write a blog from a London, UK perspective. Lots of interviews and photography.
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