Friday, March 9, 2012

Blog-shy

My first thought of Twitter was that it was just randomly shouting into the dark. Spurting 140 characters then watching the traffic of porn stars and early adaptors speed past. I didn’t understand the attraction, why were all these porn stars and narcissistic celebrities just blurting out “I forgot how much I love pickles!” for the known-world to read?

The first Blogger.


In my eternal quest to be one of the cool kids, I trudged on trying to “get” the avant-gardeness of being a Twit? Tweetaphile? Twttererererer? Like jumping into a swimming pool in Florida; there’s always the chance that a wayward alligator may be resting at the bottom, yet you jump in anyway. With my Über social awkwardness tucked under my arm, I jumped in and began to see it as a way promote myself, a billboard for all things… blogger me. I quickly realized that Twitter was just a series of advertisements for people, a 1984 Apple commercial for people’s egos. But, for me it has become a place to hang out virtually with the “my dudes” talking dirty, and flirting.

If Twitter is hanging out in the garage, getting dirty with your buds, and Facebook is sitting with your family in the living room, blogging must be spending time in the study. Relaxing on the couch, talking one on one. Laughing and retelling old stories about each other. So, it was odd to find myself last night stuttering at a simple question.


“What’s the name of your blog?”


This was asked by my English Professor. We were discussing my thoughts on the Mormon Church, and he asked if I ever thought of writing my story. Without thinking I mentioned that I have a blog and write about it ad nauseam.  Now, I have never shied away from telling people about my little backwards corner of the net, without getting too metta, I clammed up.


There is a place for everything, twitter with its unruly rugby team mentality, blogging, and English class. At that moment I stood frozen, like trying to pee next to François Sagat. You know he’s going to look over, and he has seen a lot of other dicks…. This was the very first time I felt guarded about my blog. It was a strange feeling. A feeling I don’t really care for, yet it was the same feeling I had when my niece asked if she could follow me on Twitter. Having an English Professor read your formal term-paper is one thing, sitting with him in the study as he does it is quite another.

5 comments:

cb said...

Fuck it-- you have a good "voice". Let him read it!

Daemon Ἴκαρος~ Δαμων said...

You aren't the only one to get "blog shy". I sometimes will mention mine in passing and a friend will ask for the link and I totally balk.

My mind flashes back over all the intense and incredibly personal things that I have written over the last two years and I panic, wondering if I really want to let them into that head and heart space.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Usually I just go with my gut feeling. I just let them know that they are responsible for what they learn there, about themselves and me. :)

daemon

ur inglish tewtor said...

So, uh... What is the name of your blog?

Daemon Ἴκαρος~ Δαμων said...

Click on my name and it is linked. :)

daemon

Erik Rubright said...

Sometimes I'd rather have someone read my post than talk about it. But I'm that much a nerd. Being social is, well, uncomfortable.