Saturday, September 5, 2015

Got a Long List of Ex Lovers...

Apparently, it was ex-boyfriend week here around the old' Stevie B blog. This is the time when all of Steve's ex-boyfriends contact Steve, just to ensure he is still alive.

The US Swim team, Olympic swimmer was in contact. Yes, he's happy with the fellow hottie he left me for, just fighting with him this week,  and wanted to say "Hi!" to me.

The skinny-ginger from Colorado State University, drunk-texted me in the middle of the night to re-declare his love for me. If you remember, he was the one I woke up to one morning, staring at me, stating that if he can't get a monogamous commitment he was out.  I'm sure you know my answer. He grabbed his Express Tote Bag, and ran. Jim Beam had apparently convinced him otherwise.

Next was the muscled Lebanese, University of Colorado Volleyball player. He just let me know that he's going to study in Prague. That being petrified of his hotness, and thus avoiding him, probably was not the best technic in flirting.  

The blonde from Colorado School of Mines, just missed dialed me, thinking it was his Professor Steve, not the creepy 43 year old that sodomized him in his Jeep Liberty.

Then, there was the big Ex. He was in contact to announce that he is officially a Realtor, with his own agency. I couldn't tell if is was a general announcement, or a sales pitch. Either way, I believe it's a great idea to have your Ex, help buy a house.... sure. He then invited me to a Fetish Party he was hosting. Also a great idea to attend a play party hosted by your still somewhat questionably hostile Ex... sure.

Well... that was my week. My tattered ego and I are glad it is over.  

8 comments:

Homer said...

My ex won't talk to me. Why? I'll never know since he never explained why he dumped me unexpectedly. Lesson learned- never date an ex-Mormon.

Pac said...

My ex and my husband just went to Milan together. Is that weird?

Blobby said...

Can you expound more on the Jeep Liberty thing? That sounds the most interesting to me. I'm just saying.

As for an ex. I've talked to one......once. That was enough. I'm all about the Ghosting.

Anonymous said...

While expounding on the Jeep Liberty incident, would you also give us more details about the Fetish Party? ~~ NB

Fearsome Beard said...

Of all the boyz that live in my colorful past, only one that I would consider an Ex still talks to me. Technically he was "an Ex on the side" if yous a know what I'm talkin bout. We have remained close friends going on twenty years. None of the others desire my company, conversation or wisdom. Oh well, their loss.

Jock Forveaux said...

Jeep sodomy. What an amazing world we live in ;) Love ya Stevie B.

anne marie in philly said...

my ex can go to hell; we have been divorced 24 years.

there is only one guy with whom I wish to speak...but I can't cause he's dead. :(

Erik Rubright said...

Maybe you need the word "SODOMIZER" printed for the sides of the hood of your jeep. ;-)