I am required today to write performance reviews for two of my new employees. Instead of that, I’m suddenly compelled to blog and to watch YouTube videos. It’s not like writing performance reviews are difficult; the hard part is completing the review in positive terms and steering away from any schadenfreude involved in the process of grading someone’s performance. It almost seems if we didn’t have schadenfreude, we wouldn’t have any freude at all.
At one point I narrated that one of my subordinates had overly tweezed eyebrows. Well, first I said “plucked” then I remembered a drag queen telling me once, “You pluck a chicken. You tweeze an eyebrow.” So I thought that my revision was actually helpful.
Maybe instead of writing reviews I could just perform them utilizing sock puppets. I could set up a little stage and glue googly eyes onto some socks… But then I’d have to buy felt and make little hats… And by the time I re-wrote the script I could of just completed the writing portion of the review.
Sometimes being an adult is hard.