Thursday, March 12, 2015

The Second Date

I am getting amazingly talented at first dates. A second date; however, is seeming to be an elusive near impossible act for me to obtain. That is to say, that I can take a guy out to dinner, act like a gentleman, talk for hours, and at the end of the date really feel a connection. Yet, even with plans made; date number two simply never comes to pass.

Last week I sat at a coffee shop and made a great connection with an amazingly hot and funny guy. Both were the youngest of a huge Mormon family, both had Texas roots, both of us were seeking what, I thought, were clear and honest ideas. In a strange twist we ended up playing together and were very compatible. Then came the discussion of the elusive date number two... He instigated the endeavor. As I have decided to let the other party involved set the tone for this act. He set the date and time. I was to pick him up at this house.... I showed up at the arranged time and place.... Nothing.
Just me on a strange doorstep, ringing a doorbell. A text was then sent to me stating that he couldn't go out.  Date two ended before it started with me texting my BFF, Mike declaring I hated boys.

Another recent turn in my dating life was when my excitement crescendo[ed] upon making plans at the end of date one, to spend date two seeing an IMAX movie. No one ever has ever wanted to go see IMAX movie with me before. So I got all excited. An actual real-life boy wanted to sit with me in 3-D glasses and watch the discovery of Space Junk or Amazonian Trees. In 3-D IMAX coolness. I felt just like when I was five and anticipated getting stuffed Ernie and Bert dolls for Christmas. Christmas found me without Ernie, or Bert. The thought of my second date drought didn't even enter my head. After all we definite plans. I sent a text to confirm, only to receive a  text hours later that they found something better to do. When asking the boy where my adult version of Ernie and Bert Christmas presents were, I was told not to be "a dick about it." Funny, that is what my Mom said on Christmas morning.

I present this strange phenomenon to you not as a problem. Just the opposite really.  A humorous observation on dating life. I am un-second-dateble.  Some day, I will get that obscure date number two... some day.


3 comments:

Blobby said...

I admire knowing what you want. But the problem I do not think is you. If you date boys, you get the not yet matured version of a man - and even when fully matured, we're not horribly mature.

They are called boys for a reason. You have to accept their lack of commitment and all their inconsistencies. Or you have to reassess.

Nick Mischel said...

Why settle for a second date from just one person? I suggest that you make it a competition. That's right, we're talkin' straight-up reality show! That way, guys would actually compete for your affections... or at least your attention. They would have to earn it and prove themselves worthy through contests that demonstrate their romantic prowess. For example, I suggest starting with a cooking challenge. Guys would be forced to use their creativity and imaginations to make a meal of whatever might be in your fridge at the time. Or perhaps they could demonstrate their writing abilities through a poetry contest. Let's not forget the laundry-folding challenge or the unloading of the dishwasher gauntlet - after all, we want to make sure they will hold up their end of the bargain when it comes to domestic chores. (You can't be doing all the work!) There will also be a quiz portion of the competition too, where guys will have to remember facts about you - like what your favorite color is, when is your birthday, what you are likely to order from a cafe menu, and your opinions of pop-culture. As the competition wears on, you will have to eliminate one guy a week. Notice that the power will be in your hands - and this will provide the guys ample time to go well beyond just a first date. Instead of a rose ceremony, you might offer fellas moving on in the competition a beer, a condom, or a toothbrush. Eventually, as the number of guys dwindle down, perhaps they could earn bigger rewards - like wearing one of your flannel shirts or getting their very own drawer in your dresser. The "winner" will ultimately be the last guy standing (or laying down) and you will have finally found true love. Just my idea....

cb said...

I'm really sorry to read this-- especially because I think you are a nice guy and I would DEFINITELY go on a second date with you.

But at least you are putting yourself out there and getting first dates. I can't even remember what a date is....