Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A BAD ENGLISH BEAT SONG

When rolling through the profiles on your local man 2 man social site, you see a lot of amazing slabs of man meat. You also see a lot of weird, creepy and just puzzling pictures of gay men in their natural habitat. There’s complete sites devoted to just this phenomenon. I’ve stated this before but honestly I sometimes like these pics better than page after page of hot muscle. A muscled guy in a basement is great, but a muscled guy standing next to a laundry basket full dirty T-shirts whilst a cat desperately tries to escape the shot by crawling out the drier vent, now that’s art.
The Grant Wood of profile pics is the mirror self portrait. When guys suck in their proverbial guts to snap a glimpse of what they would look like shirtless, in the bathroom after losing ten pounds holding a cell phone. DeadRobot said once:
“Don’t these guys have friends to snap a picture?”
Well, I have to admit I have a lot of these pictures, chances are if you’ve had me in your house I’ve got a picture of me in your bathroom mirror. Wearing your fur. Okay, not really but I sooo would. If you had a mink. So, even though I’m sure you’ve seen my BMB profile I thought I’d share the Dork Fest!


This one is from way back. I loved that little phone. I think this was taken at Broadway BodyWorks. If you look close enough, I’m cross eyed. That’s a turn on when you’re cruising.

Am I pretending I’m in the Army? Is this Iraq? Or is that a fifty dollar shower curtain behind me. “Uh, this guy can’t even handle using a camera and looking in a mirror whilst flexing.” Pretty, not smart.


Ooooo look at the hottie! Uhm, I can’t keep my pants on? Still, no cognitive ability to smile at the mirror, sad really. At this point my mom walked in a screamed at me. Just kidding. My Mom doesn't use Axe.

And the latest version, Kitty gonna get that phone. Do they still have Glamour Shots in the mall? I’m thinking that I need to pay them a visit. At what point do I stop and say I’m too dumb to handle the complex configuration of a camera, a mirror and a husky gay man? It took me hours to get my twenty dollar hotel towel to hang like that.

6 comments:

Dead Robot said...

My BMB profile starts out with "Why do all the hot guys on here have pictures of themselves holding up phones in bathrooms? Don't they have any friends or fuck buddies?"

Thank you for "lurid digging" yourself. Very funny!

Dead Robot said...

Holy shit I passed by the bit where you quote me. I gotta stop reading blogs at work.

me=dick

The Mutant said...

I'll oft throw in a picture of myself mit phone, just for comedic value. You want my hot tip of the day though? Stand in front of the mirror but point your photographic device at you with the screen facing the mirror, line up shot in reflection, take photo of subject only... no phone or camera. Works wonders really!

No need to thank me, just send photos as my reward. If you've got no clothes on and look really confused, that'd be super hot. Thanks.

Huh, self timer? Whadda ya mean self timer???

Moby said...

At least you are flipping the camera off. lol

Nice pics btw....beefy!

the replicant said...

Is fun to play at Y-M-Я-A.

Moby said...

oops, that was supposed to be "aren't"....damn typos.