Wednesday, March 11, 2009


I spent yesterday at the hospital visiting a friend. Nothing serious, just a hospital stay. It was one of those days where the person sleeps all day and you spend hours watching them drool. There is something about hospital rooms that lullS you in to a catatonic state. The quite beep of the morphine drip, the pastel color scheme. It’s enough to drive you mad.

To pass the time I would wander down to the gift shop or the cafeteria. I love cafeteria food; it has something to do with eating off of a tray. Maybe this has to do with my prison fantasy, who knows. Maybe, it’s the childhood eating at Luby’s. Or, both. As I munched away on my tuna salad sandwich, I realized that I was be visually undressed by a guy across the cafeteria. It was Captain Jack Sparrow, in scrubs. Hot or creepy? It left me perplexed.

I soon decided that my friends’ room was in desperate need for balloons. Just to cheer the friend up I sashayed across the room and mimicking RuPaul declared

“This place needs Mylar! “

And since I didn’t notice the nurse standing behind me, I decided that right then would be a good time to visit the gift shop. That’s when I found Mona. She was a 120year old Jewish gift shop hostess. In a Stefanie Powers wig. I snapped a picture when she wasn’t looking. I know bad Steve, but I wanted to show you how cute she was. This is what Stefanie Powers will look like in 2029. You’re welcome.