I am currently conducting a research study, with my dating habits as of late. And, I am learning a lot. After I turned forty years old, I started to date guys in their twenties. I honestly believed there were no differences in guys my age and gay men in their twenties. I went through this twenty year old phase in my life, and I thought that since I was once twenty, I would understand. I am here to report that I am dead wrong.
There seems to be is a magical age when guys are old enough that they're bored with the hookup scene and interested in relationships, yet haven't reached the point where they're bored with relationships, and just want to hook up. This has nothing to do with chronological age. It has more to do with when the individual comes out. The key to finding any guy is to find one on the same pendulum swing as you. This hasn’t changed since I was posting ads on the back pages of Denver’s Outfront Newspaper. Yes, before the interwebs, we had to post ads in the singles column of our gay newspapers. Chiseled into stone tablets, if I remember.
It appears that younger guys pendulums swing faster these days. Kids, I tells ya. When I do sit down on a date I have a series of questions I like to ask. Yeah, know, after the “do your parents know where you are?”question. The clearest one is, “Are you attracted to older guys on a personal level, or physical level?” This shows me whether there’s a Daddy fetish going on, or if it’s a maturity compatibility thing. When I was twenty I hated interacting with other twenty year olds, I preferred having a conversion with people over forty. The other questions are “Do you know who Matthew Shepard, and Larry Kramer are? Have you seen the film, Paris is Burning?” The answers are surprising. Is it wrong to give a homework assignment after the first date? I think no.
There is; however, something new, other than the fact that no gay man under the age of twenty-six would ever have a Facebook account. The guys I have dated as of late, are now thinking love and marriage. And children. It seems that generation next, have the freedom and acceptance to be able to dream of settling down and raising a family. This truly is - a different time, my friends.
I think this trend of gay men seeking relationships at relatively young age might have something to do the fact that they are coming out much earlier.
ReplyDeleteIn my Canadian high school, there are many out gay kids in grade 9 .... in the previous generation, many waited for college or later to come out.
I missed the parental gene. Never wanted children and don't want to raise a twenty something either. For the first time in my life I'm attracted to guys younger than me, but that means they are in their forties...uh oh...forties is younger than me? Oops!
ReplyDeleteI am not around young men, so I have no idea 'what they really want'. I would have guessed 'settling down' was not a major or common attribute.
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck with whatever fellows come your way.