Sunday, June 29, 2008

COPS-V-500 thread count

We were a little late getting up and around this morning. As Fuzzy works on Sunday mornings and his boss is Jesus it’s not proper to be late to work. As we were rushing around I stopped to make the bed. I was smoothing out the sheets and aligning the pillows properly and I heard “come on baby, we gotta go! The bed will be here when we get back.” I know but what if the TV show Cops break in while we’re gone and film our unmade bed.” As this fell from my pie hole I realized that this was actually a serious concern to me. My entire adult life I’ve been walking around with the fear that if my house was messy a second rate TV show would barge in and film it. I don’t think I could life with the consequences of Cops filming my wrinkled sheets.
This just might be a step away from lining up my drinks in the refrigerator. Have you seen Flipping Out? Jeff Lewis, Wow wack job. I say that thinking that he probably does not have a persecution complex for coffee cups in the sink.
On Cops there are prostitutes, drug dealers and car thieves and I hardly do any of those things, but still want to feel tough so keeping my bed made will keep me on the right side of the law. That’s how I roll.

5 comments:

Hotrod said...

My mother always said, "If you don't make your bed, the devil will dance in your sheets."

I wonder why I have problems...

Kezza said...

Oh my God, I think you just made me realise a very sad truth about myself... I do the same thing for the same reason, however my irrational fear extends a little bit further. I don't want any potential theives thinking I'm a complete lowlife either, I'd much rather make them feel that way with my superior house keeping abilities.

Dead Robot said...

I was once robbed and it took me a solid week to realize they'd gone through my underwear drawer, only because I usually keep my underwear on the floor.

Gooster said...

Do you usually go around shirtless or in a wife beater? (Pixplz if ya do!) But I digress, COPS only bust people in such attire! NOW, if your bed is unmade, there is a week old pizza box on the coffee table, your dogs are on 3ft logging chains in the backyard, and you are in boxers and a wife beater... watch your peep hole, and don't answer that door!

Wow, peep hole almost sounds dirty in that context!

TankMontreal said...

hotrod, let's have more devil-dancing, please. Momma be damned.