Wednesday, March 16, 2011

ZOMBIE STEVE

Part of what makes me such a great catch is my sleeping habits. Or lack thereof. Part of this charm is my night terrors, insomnia, and inability to be woken up without fists flying. Let’s say you wanting to get romantic in the middle of the night by gentling pressing your man area against my tookus, there is a 50/50 chance this will result in a fist flying at your face. You’d have to become adept at seduce me by thrusting your gay-wedding tackle while simultaneously stopping a flying fist of death. I’m such a keeper.


On a cruise a couple of years ago my bunk mates, Jerrod and Carl came in after dinner to wake me. As Jerrod quietly said my name and touched my shoulder. I hit the roof. No, really I was on the top bunk and I flew up and literally hit the ceiling. Poor Carl was laughing so hard he had to hide in the bathroom.

This week has been one of the harder weeks. No sleep for Steve.  It has something to do with the Fukushima Nuclear power plant. If you have been reading the Steve-blog for awhile you’ll know that I’m obsessed with the Chernobyl disaster and this situation just adds to the obsession. I’ve successfully avoided all media and yet I’m still finding myself drawn to the story.

Yesterdays attempt to sleep started at three in the afternoon and hasn’t really ended even today at work. I’m taking it all in stride; really what else can you can do but laugh at the situation. I’m thinking of auditioning for gay zombie porn. I hear that’s a growing niche in the gay porn industry. Ruuurrreer, rruuurrur Uuuuunnnngg.

8 comments:

Dale W. said...

Is it wrong to want to see you in a gay zombie porn film?

I hope your sleeping pattern calms down again, Stevie; and if it all gets too much, there's a blue Police Box over here you can come and hide out in.

Pac said...

"Oh, you like those brains, do ya? Tell me how much you like those brains! You want more? Your want more brains? Take those brains, take 'em all!"

Uh-oh. This just got weird.

cb said...

Ok, Stevie. Time to meditate and get in touch with some good ol' Buddhism.

Let go of that which you cannot control. And try doing some deep relaxation/breathing where you clear your mind of everything but the relaxing and breathing.

Gooster said...

My man has totally been nuclear nutty too. With San Onofre nuclear plant near us, he's been sweating.

As for the Zombie porn, a friend of mine worked on the Bruce LaBruce film L.A. Zombie. I watched it, and found it a little confusing. When and why does a penis become a zombie blood spewing horn? They weren't consistent with that aspect. Of course, Fran├žois was fabulous even if I got lost at times.

Anonymous said...

I didn't want to laugh - it is just how I deal with stressful jacked up emotions - like when you wake up screaming and hitting the ceiling and walls with your misc body parts.... don't hate me cause I laughed.... I am sure there are better reasons... cn

Randy P. said...

Hmmm... things to add to xmas list... 5 foot pokey pole to wake stevie up with... refresher course on inside/outside and outside/inside blocking of punches... Costco size bottle of melatonin for stevie..

ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND said...

http://aholeboyfriend.blogspot.com/2011/03/duck-and-clobbered.html

Wonder Man said...

try to get some sleep soon