Monday, August 3, 2015

The Fair is a Veritable Smorgasbord

Last weekend the Roommate and I went to the Denver County Fair. Because it is August and that is what you do. Attend a County Fair. Although, it being an urban centric fair it was diffrent than the fairs I have attended in my past.

When I was a kid, I have no idea my age, maybe eight-ish, I entered the county fair in the only competition I possible could of been qualified. Although, in my defense if they had a shag carpet vacuuming contest, or bath towel folding competition back in 1983, I would have smoked the other competitors. I would have received, no doubt several blue ribbons. Because even at eight, I was a marksman when it came to reseting our 300 pound Kirby vacuum cleaner from low pile to high pile. I could swap out the brush bar for the crevice hose in 27 seconds flat. This personal talent; however, was lost on my Father. He also didn't seem impressed how I could keep two bath towels, two hand towels, and two fingertip towels,  perfectly folded and constantly hanging on the bathroom towel rod used by seven children. My two major talents gone wasted by unappreciated Mormon rancher Father.

Instead of having the first eight year old boy to  have a grand sweep of all the "Good Housewife" ribbons. He pushed me into "Rabbit Care." Think of the bragging rights my Father missed. "Well, my boy placed first in the Swag & Jabot sewing contest at last year's fair." He would  brag over the General Tire service counter, as he rung up a local city councilman. Instead, he had to settle on explaining how his son was the one kid that didn't get a ribbon, due to letting his rabbit loose in the middle of the 4-H judging contest. Bunnies were cute and all, but nothing compared to my innate talent to cutting down corduroy pants to make kicky summer shorts. A self-taught prodigy. I bet to this day, I could pull and replace the dust bag out of a Kirby Sentria without letting a single dust-bunny loose.

I thought of this, as I wandered around the Denver County Fair. Hoping against all odds there would be a just one Good Housekeeping competition.  Just a side stage somewhere that was one contestant short.  I guess it is for the best. Attempting to re-live your past just is not healthy. Instead, I went to taunt the Rainbow Vacuums salesperson.


Fearsome Beard said...

I thought I was the only boy in the world who loved his mothers Kirby. She actually had a several of them; main floor, basement and a spare. Out of the three boys, I was the only one who knew how to change a belt & add accessories (or even turn one on...) in just moments. Vacuums, like men, come and go. After moving out on my own I grew fond of Electrolux and now I am so all about my Dyson DC39 Animal.

Anonymous said...

YAY, for county and state fairs! I won a blue ribbon in county and 3rd place at state for a pillow I made. After all, if you're gonna bite a pillow it might as well be fancy. Only reason it got submitted was 'cuz I made it for my grandmother, really, but she rejected it because it wasn't up to her standards. Tried to prove something, but she only glanced at the ribbons and told me I could do better. ~~~ NB

anne marie in philly said...

I just entered two of my hand-knitted shawls into a contest in WALES, UK of all places! first time for everything (at age 60), and mos def outta my comfort zone! but winning isn't everything.

Ur-spo said...

I remember the song from you title. I can hear it still for we sang it in grade school. Templeton the rat, yes?