Friday, August 28, 2015

Not-a-Soul Man

I believe that I might not have a soul. 

This conclusion comes from a consistent problem in my life. One were I don't exist to certain necessary inanimate objects we all intact with daily. I don't register to electric eyes. Touch-less faucets seem like a futuristic and technological miracle. One simply places their hand under the spout and water starts flowing like magic. I always think that I am not smart enough to move in the right way to trigger the motion sensor. It's a presence sensor designed to detect the presence of hands under the spout and turn on the faucet. When you remove your hands, the sensor tells the faucet to turn off.  When your hands come within a few inches of the lip of the spout, infrared light bounces off your skin to the detector, which sends a signal that turns on the faucet. They're easy enough technology. But countless times, you can find me in the airport men's room waving my hands like a flustered chicken attempting to register to the stupid faucet. 

This was proven to the roommate after he bought one of those "touch-less" trashcans for the kitchen. He has had hours of enjoyment watching me act like a cat playing with a laser beam as I attempt to have the lid raise. Doors refuse to open as they don't see me coming. If it has any kind of electric eye, it will be blind to me. 

I really don't know all the technology of how these things work, I just assume it works off the human soul. 

6 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

I have trouble with the "touchless" gizmos also. perhaps we are zombies?

Pac said...

Those faucets can see my hands until I cover them with with soap. It's like sudsy stealth technology.

Greg said...

You could be a zombie....

Anonymous said...

Same for me. I prefer to think of myself as a highly evolved ghost.

Fearsome Beard said...

Perhaps the big guy in the sky is just getting a few laughs for himself at your expense?

Erik Rubright said...

Maybe you're just made with a built-in stealth suit?