This is what happens every night at Southfork.
Steve-Um, what’s for dinner?
Fuzzy-What do you want?
Fuzzy-What kinda food?
This goes on for awhile, longer then any two men should possibility talk this way. I can make where to eat into a scene from Hamlet.
“O! what a rogue and peasant slave am I to Taco Bell!”
We decided that pancakes where the only way to go for dinner and we found ourselves at Uber-Target. Now, I personally will only eat pure maple syrup but Fuzz will only eat that brown stuff that’s 99% High-Fructose corn syrup. This is when he turned to me and asked. “Who do you think would win in a cage match, Aunt Jemima or Mrs. Butterworth?” “Well I guess, who ever wants it more.” “Well, They’re both strong black women.” I stopped a second, “Mrs. Butterworth is Caucasian.” Fuzzy looked like I just stated that the Pope was a Scientologist. “No, She’s of African Descent” “Ummm, I think she’s white. Ya-know grandmotherly, cute little white woman. “No she’s a strong black grandmother!” So this continued on for quite a while, so long that a big haired house wife had to quickly grab Log Cabin and run. We decided that we were going to “Google it.” Either way Aunt Jemima has had a harder life and would take Butterworth in 2 rounds.
I’ve been reading everything I can find on this Butterworth creature. I’ve found nothing to prove for a fact the ethnic heritage of this woman I grew up with. I did find that the voice for Mrs. Butterworth, Mary Kay Bergman, took her own life at age 39 in 1999. That will dampen your Syrupy goodness. Oh, Mrs. Butterworth you are truly what Barack Obama means when he speaks of Ethnic culture in America. It is not the package that we judge it’s the syrup inside.