Have you ever decided something was exceedingly simple in your head? Base jumping, easy! Periodontal root planing, easy! Smiling at a girl in the gym a little too long, then as the girl thinks that you’re flirting with her and comes up to move the relationship on to the next level trying to explain that really you’re a huge Mo and you were only staring at her because you thought she was your niece, easy!
I had been avoiding the conversations of “we should run together some time” from friends and family. My sister asked if I’d join her in a fun-run for charity. I turned my head and pretended I didn’t speak English. “Sorry. Nooo runy funy.” Sure, it sounded exceedingly simple in my head. Until I realized that I run like one of the hippos from Fantasia if right in the middle of the hippo dance recital they dropped a big game hunter loaded with a high-powered rifle. The Hunter giving orders that he will give me and the troop a three count head start then he was a-coming for some tutued hippo ass. I run like a hippo, in a tutu trying to flee for its life. Or, something like that.