Monday, November 10, 2008

LIGHTS

I should of realized the type of weekend I was going to have when I called home half-way through my Friday. I asked what Fuzzy was doing, to which he sleepily replied.
“ Watching…… a movie, show…. about Jewish Christmas.”
Oy, There’s nothing so heart warming then the magical time of Jewish Christmas. The lights, the songs, to see the blue and silver trees up in the malls.

Well, this year I’m getting a jump on Gay Christmas. Yes, I am aware of the date. We’re still weeks away from Thanksgiving. But, I ain’t letting the season get by without doing every damn thing Christmasish. That’s why I dragged Fuzzy to buy outside “Holiday” lights. We can’t call them Christmas lights or Captain Fuzz freaks out. And, Just so you know, icicle lights were “so last year.”

We ended up spending way too much time in the Christmas isle. Apparently some lights gave Fuzz flashbacks of his Ex and some remind me of my Mormon Dad yelling for the hammer to drive the last ring-shank nail into a five foot cross on top of our house. When I was eight, I snuck out in the middle of the night to pull one of out one of those nails just to have the cross glow at an angle. Christmas eve found us with a huge glowing “X” on our roof.

We picking up and set down no less then four types of lights and “outing” a sixteen year-old to his grandmother. But, seriously we saved her from wrapping gold garland around her trailers front porch. They should thank us. We settled on a blue and white snowflake motif . A gay winter electric wonderland. And since they’re LED they’re bright as fuck. I’m going for peaceful and serene but keeps the neighbors awake all night from the glare. Fuzzy is now saying that I have to wait until after Thanksgiving to put them up. Seriously? It’s getting dark a 4:30PM there’s little old neighbor ladies that need their retinas scarred.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like to think of your lights not as causing retinal scarring as much as providing free laser surgery for glaucoma…fc

Dead Robot said...

Christmas eve found us with a huge glowing “X” on our roof.

Brilliant!

Greg said...

Christmas comes earlier every year. Pretty soon, we'll be putting up the tree as we set off fireworks for the 4th of July.

Kezza said...

Aussie stores have been stocking decorations for weeks now, but then again we don't have Halloween or Thanksgiving to occupy our time, so I'd say it's probably safe to go ahead and put them up now, besides the earlier you start using them the more old dears you can piss off! If that's not an incentive I don't know what is.

Michael said...

Well you can put the lights up now, but just don't turn them on until after T-Day!

erik said...

"A gay winter electric wonderland." I must see this for myself.