Friday, November 21, 2008

The League Of Lesbians

The Lesbians are swarming today. This time it’s about fact that they’re going to die due to co-workers with the sniffles, and winter, and… well pretty much everything today.
The temperature dropped in Denver last night, so imagine that ice formed on the steps outside. The Vegan “almost died” by slipping in her sensible shoes. They huddled together talking about how it was probably a man that chose to not put salt on the icy sidewalk. She then moved on to winter, and how it’s dried out her skin so much that she keeps needing to slather her pasty skin with lotion. Reminding me of Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen.

Meanwhile the Lesbian Lysol Lecture continues on how Lysol must be reapplied like straight girls reapply lipstick. If not, we’re all going to get the flu. “Why wouldn’t you get a flu shot Steve?”
I was asked yesterday, like I had drug a dead cat into the office to use as a Rolodex.
“If not to keep yourself healthy, than your office mates.”
Wow, who knew I was putting the league of lesbians at risk for the rhinovirus? She cocked her head and walked away as I responded that I was immortal, and human illness cannot pass through my metal skin. If ya don’t have an answer, confuse the hell out of them. That’s what I always say.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Don't they know that antibacterial spray only makes the survivors immune???