Tuesday, June 29, 2010


In 1984 America was swept up in Olympics fever. It seemed that the whole country was wearing Red, White, and Blue including my twelve year old self. I also begged my Mom for swim lessons. I was strangely drawn to the Men’s Olympic swim team. For some queer reason.

At our community pool on my first day of swim lessons I met Rick, the boys swim instructor. He came to class everyday in a red, white, and blue Speedo and matching mirrored sunglasses. His tanned washboard abs was oddly enticing for a twelve year old pasty white farm boy. But at my young age I knew well enough to always ask for extra help with my stroke. Rick would help me by using he’s enormous hands against my fish belly white stomach guiding my arms as he watched my form. We clearly were in love.

Towards the last days of class I was over zealous to get a new form correct. So excited to have him “coach” me that I knocked him in the head. His American pride themed sunglasses flying off and into the water. I was of course first to dive after them. At the same time as he did, snapping the frames and we knocked heads under water. Rick hid his anger. But, at that moment he broke up with me and broke my young heart. We completed the classes without speaking.

Several weeks ago Dalton and I were getting back into my car after lunch. For some reason I had laid my Ray-Bans on the driver’s seat instead in the sexy car holder. CRUNCH! As my tookus smashed them to bits. My brain immediately went to Rick, how we broke up over his glasses.

I hate buying new sunglasses, it must stem from Rick and the pool. I have over the last five weeks bought or tried to buy a half dozen pairs of glasses. Last night was another episode. Trying on pair after pair. What I’m really looking for is a pair of red, white, and blue mirrored glasses with an Olympic symbol in the side.

*Creepy! I found the exact glasses online for sale here.


heat said...

Aww...the devistation of a first love lost. I think we all still secretly ache, lol

Wonder Man said...

Aw, but at least you found another pair

bigislandjeepguy said...

i always tell myself that i won't invest in expensive sunglasses, but for as much as i am out in the sun (blahblahblahblah, excuses excuses...)...

i love my oakleys.

(the last pair i dropped in the ocean as i was stand up paddleboarding. i had them tucked into the waist of my boardshorts. serves me right)

btw, my word verification was:

The Mutant said...

I can only hope you bought those red, white and blue specs. Hawt!

Meanwhile I'm in a lucky position, what with my mother being a purveyor of the finest five-dollar sunglasses money can buy, I've had pair after pair. From Madonna's 'Don't Tell Me' cowboy shades to Kylie's 'In My Arms' venetians.

All because my arse has a 'thing' for the destruction of sunglasses.

Stephen Chapman... said...

The next five on the fifth is a few days away. As usual, everyone is welcome to take part. You can either take 5 random pictures of anything that happens to you on Monday 5th of July (or the days leading up to it) or perhaps go for my suggested theme - this month there are 2 suggestions:

"This past weekend" or "I don't like Mondays".

cb said...

I used to have a pair of sunglasses exactly like those pictured back in the day.

Mine were blue, with red and white sandwich layers. and mirrored.

I used them for skiing- after I got my skis shined up and grabbed a stick of juicy fruit.