Thursday, September 30, 2010

NO MAN KNOWS MY PASTRIES

Oh, October. The month were our house finally turns the air-conditioning off sixty-four degrees and  opens the windows in the bedroom at night. When I was a kid October meant a whole month of planning my woefully effeminate Halloween costume. This would be the girlie costume I would wear to our churches ward dinner and Halloween alternative Jesus fest.

Our fall church ward dinners were just an amazing showcase of orange streamers, family values, and Jell-O. I’d stand there in my witches or Ken doll costume and stare with amazement at the rainbow of Jell-O molds. A kaleidoscope of artificial sweeteners and canned fruit. Thank Jesus and the latter day saints that the church provided a Jell-O matrix so each family would know that Jell-o mold to bring…

No, not that matrix. This matrix.


This is from No Man Knows My Pastries,  Available on Amazon,  the definitive Mormon cook book. Now you too can be spared the embarrassment of bring the wrong gelatin dessert to that fabulous soirĂ©e. I’m a giver.






7 comments:

Mike "N" the Mechanics said...

I am afraid that I am having a hard time swallowing the clear fact that lime jell-o and cottage cheese is an anytime anywhere treat.

StevieB said...

Isn't that also the lime Handkerchief in the hanky code?

Dead Robot said...

What do you add into banana jello if you have a bris?

I'm getting mixed up here.

Randy P. said...

And I thought magic underwear was strange. Doesn't a jello matrix mean everyone with bring the SAME jello... ewwwwww!

Damien Oz said...

Um - ok... i think one gets the "Double Entendre blog post that ended up NOTHING like one thought it would"

Wow. :)

the replicant said...

No wonder angels so rarely visit. Orange, carrot, and celery? Really?

DW said...

I'm still in shock that it thinks I'd want to seat cottage cheese jell-o for dinner on Chrismas Eve.

Stevie. You're such a giver.