Friday, August 22, 2008


So we’re still not discussing that fact that I’m the only Fag that isn’t in compliance by not having an Iphone. I feel that soon my fellow Fags are kick me out of the circle and I’m going to have to start wearing Jeff Gordon T-shirts. But in case you’re wondering how many days I’ve been waiting:

To pass the time until I get GPS in my hand let’s talk about ass gaskets.

What is up with the tissue things that people put down on toilet seats? I long wondered what’s the deal with these things. Do they really do anything? As any good American that doesn’t have their time filled up using their Iphone, I Googled it. So it turns out they don’t do a damn thing. Nothing more than help with the "icky" factor. That, and you can dress like a pilgrim at your office Thanksgiving party. Why do people use them? That’s when I asked BFF Carl and he said "Oh… you mean ass gaskets. Nope, don’t use them and they don’t do anything more then make you feel better about the status of your ass." I’m in touch with ass. I pretty much know what’s going on down there. If I’ve got some sort of open wound I’m not. Here out, NOT coming to work. I feel that everyone would probably do the same. So why spend 20 minutes trying to get one of these bible page thin circles arranged just right to plop you tuckus onto it just to spend another 8 minutes try to peal this pilgrim collar off your bum and somehow hit the toilet. I guess it’s just to make you feel that you have cleaner can.


Dead Robot said...

Not to rub it in, but SharkBoy and I got ours last night by walking into one of those mall kiosks last night. It took us just under three hours (server was busy, guy had to call in twice).

Who wants to buy a 2G iPhone and an 8G Touch?

Michael said...

OH NO!! I was really hoping that today was the day!

btw, I LOVE 7 of 9 (I think it's the boobs)

I always thought it was funny that they say "for your protection" on those ass gasket from what? Gangs, rapists, serial killers?

I hope your phone comes today so you don't have to wait a whole 'nother weekend being put down by those snobby fags! (oh yeah I don't have an iPhone because AT&T don't work at my house)

StevieB said...

-Sometimes, late at night I carry a seat cover on my in case anyone tries-Sometimes, late at night I carry a seat cover on my in case anyone tries to mug me. Seriously if someone throws an ass gasket in my face, I’d turn and run.

-Waiting 3 hours for a phone? Ouch! After 20 minutes I’d be like Victoria Osteen on an airplane.

Anonymous said...

Well this fag doesn't have one either, but being on Tmobile I'm not getting one in the near future. I'm holding out for the Gphone (Dream) that will be sold only by Tmobile. Hope your phone gets here today so you can become an itard like the rest of them. :)

Kezza said...

Ass gasket? Classic. Would you believe such a thing is very rare in Australia, in fact Ithink I may have only seen them once! I was stunned when i saw them everywhere in the USA, what are you people on? Don't you realise you could just waste 87 individual sheets of paper and 20 minutes lining the seat, fun for the whole family! As for the protection factor... If anyone tried anything on me and I pulled one of those out and said "use this" I'm pretty sure I'd remain STD free... due to the fact they'd run a mile! He he he, If I can ever find them again I think I might try that!

Moby said...

I don't have one either. And as long as it is tied to ATT aka Cingular I won't.

I'm curious to see the new Android (Google) phone coming out later this year from Tmobile.

Anonymous said...

"Eww, eww, eww, Bob from Accounting uses this toilet too. But it's OK, I have paper to protect me from his cooties."