Saturday, August 16, 2008


Fuzzy and I met his parents for dinner this week. This is of course a normal part of being a man-friend but the whole “having dinner with the in-laws” thing is still a little new to me. I wouldn’t wish my freaky ass kin-folk on my worst enemy, well maybe “W.” I honestly would rather shove a incensed squirrel down my pants then spend time with any of them. So when I hear that others actually like to meet for dinner I’m a little skeptical.
Since I come from a long line of Mormons that can be traced back to Mr. Josef Smith let’s just say they are not the most fun at parties. The whole “dead end to a family tree” is documented painfully in our Family lineage book somewhere in Utah. Every couple of years someone somewhere, meaning my Mom sends the boys on bicycles after me to track me down and ask me once again about my “wife and kids” so it can be documented for the temple.

Why you ask am I bringing this shit up? It’s Colton Ford’s fault.
Yesterday I was on the treadmill. Bouncing along to Colton (That’s what I call him, along with My Colton) as in “Leave my Colton alone” when yet another friend says “He’s hot and all but Stevie He can’t sing his way out of a paper bag!” Yesterday I’m on the treadmill and I got a little carried away with my Colton by pulling back on the headphones while dancing. This dropped my IPod onto the Jetsons’ like spinning surface shooting it at the woman behind me. The woman wearing the BYU shirt.
Damn! I expelled in a deep and manly voice. She quickly helped me up as I had jumped doing some-sort of half pike mid-air twist to matrix my IPod. At this point she sniffed me out as a Mo. That’s a Mormon, opposed to being a Mo as in “homo” which yes, makes me a Mo – Mo. She then threw her talons into me. I quickly stammered about cutting off my toe off and having my shoe fill up with blood then hobbled off. I’m sorry but I’m not going to “out” myself as a Mo (not a mo) to the Mo-girl I just launched my IPod at. Seriously!


Michael said...

So it's not bad enough that you have to come out as a mo, but as a Mo too.....that's got to be difficult to remember who knows you're a Mo and who knows you're a mo.....I'd get confused!

p.s. Thanks for the linkage : -)

Dead Robot said...

I guess this proves the existance of a Mo-dar?

Gooster said...

You should offer to pose! I would even buy one to tell my friends "Hey, that's StevieB, isn't he purdy!" ;-)

W MT and N.ID is the new Utah. It is so bad, when we would see a mini-van, we call it a M.A.V., Mormon Assault Vehicle!

Good to see that you found the light, granted it was bouncing in rainbow colors off a disco ball, but isn't that the best light of all? (cue Judy Garland singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow)