Friday, January 21, 2011


Yesterday was one of those days were I just wanted to go home and climb back into the bed with the puppy. I was a great day, nothing bad happened like getting yelled out at work or getting a flat; I just needed some 500 thread-count quality time. I watched two movies both obscure low budget foreign films.

The first was so odd it defies explanation. The second was about a gay, Japanese twenty-one year old with washboard abs lamenting about his life for two hours. Two hours of zero present body fat complaining about his lot in life. As I eat an entire pizza.

This is when I talked to the Mom. She wanted to let me know that our blood line was tainted by my Grandfather on my Dad’s side. It was recently unearthed that in the twenties the time that Granddad George was in a Sanatorium being treated to tuberculosis he was elsewhere. The state pen.

Our family history on my father’s side was a lie. I thought it was funny. I asked if she was going to record that in the Mormon Temple family tree history the same time she recorded that her youngest child was not “single – no children” but married to a bald man. She said no.

I hung up with a new sense of toughness to my family heritage, like coming from a line of cowboys or being a Kennedy. As I finished this thought the Japanese gay boy came to terms with his amazing good looks and the dog had eaten my last slice of pizza.


Anonymous said...

You're my hero.

Pac said...

I wish I had a skeleton in my closet. IKEA makes an add-on organizer for that.

ZP said...

Poor doggy is gonna go through the Hershey Squirts now. What kind of pizza was it?

I love that this is the part of your post I'm concerned with. I would also like to mention the family tree bit made me lawl.

Homer said...

What did Gramps do?

cb said...

Is it wrong that I think the "locked up in the state pen" thing ranks just slightly higher than "sealed in the mormon church" thing?

Wonder Man said...

I think many of our Family Trees have scary lines