Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Tebow Beard

“Yer [sic] sporting a Tebow there!” Said the fifty year old man sporting the dice themed Hawaiian shirt behind me in line at the coffee counter.

The “high-roller” was pointing to my beard, sans a moustache. As I turned to the cashier and handed her my debit card “No! I’m Amish.” I said this in a huff; the gentlemen stammered not knowing what to say to someone of the Amish faith. Drinking Starbucks, in a gambling casino.


Being Amish, I don’t normally spend time in the casinos nestled in the Colorado Mountains. Years spent by multi-national gambling organizations, blasting away entire mountains, paving over an entire mountain valley to make a smooth foundation for massive hotels and restaurants, all to supply an endless supply of Hawaiian shirt clad gamblers a plush carpeted oases to spend their cash. They went through all that trouble, I should use it more.

 
I happened t be in this gaming temple because my Father is in town for the holiday. Although there are casinos in Boise, Idaho it’s nice to visit other casinos in your travels. For us it was how we spent our Boxing Day, two Sisters and the Dad. Out for a wacky time.


The Kitler!

I suggested the casino that had a Starbucks, because the only money I had planned to waste was on a Venti Caramel latte. This is when I ended up with a Tim Tebow beard. Great, the man that show-boats his direct line to Jesus Christ and Jesus’ apparent love of the Denver Broncos, now has usurped the Amish’s beard? Does he plan on destroying it for the world like Hitler and his cats? No one can sport a jaunty tiny stache without someone saying, “Ooooh, really? A Hitler?” Now if you choose to don a beard without the trouble of fur on your upper lip you’re going to be called a Tebower? Hand me a razor.



11 comments:

Pac said...

That's funny. All this time I've been calling it the "Stevo".

Wonder Man said...

Tebow has a look now?

Tony (LT) said...

I love this post.

cb said...

Being Amish and therefore without modern conveniences like electricity, computers and the like begs the question: how do you blog?

Deadrobot said...

So sad that Tebow is so hot yet so homophobic. Makes my urge to fuck him all the more powerful.

Alexander said...

@Deadrobot: "Me thinks the lady doth protest too much." Those that scream the loudest are always hiding something. I'm sure Tebow has had a dick in him...at one end or the other (or both at the same time!)

@StevieB You have to admit that there *is* a resemblance with the two photos you posted. Just sayin'

Sean said...

You're much better looking than him. Beard or no beard.

Jim said...

I agree with Sean. You're much cuter.

Blobby said...

Wait - what's wrong with 50?

And wait till Tebow falls from that pedestal the Christers have put him on. At least you've already taken that fall...........um.......I've heard.

Homer said...

He is saving his virginity until he gets married. I assume you are doing the same.

Underground Dude said...

The last time I went over to my parents, my dad kept going on about the football game on the television and talking about this Tebow guy. Me, being a dude without Cable and a dude who could care less about football responded with: You're talking to me like I am supposed to know who this wank is...