Nerd Boy Problems

Crush Bunny

Crush Bunny tells the tail of going to Germany's Oktoberfest...




Thanks Crush Bunny!

Sigma Alpha Pie

Based mostly on my academic accomplishment and leadership potential, I have been asked to join an exclusive National Society of leadership and success, Sigma Alpha Pi. Based on my totally awesomeness, or as the form letter states, their decision to ask me to join the hallowed ranks of Sigma Alpha Pi was partially based upon my “academic accomplishment and leadership potential.” Whatever the hell that means. I’m sure it just got around campus that I’m just an all around righteous dude. The sportos and motor heads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads… they all adore me. They think I’m a righteous dude.

Or… Maybe it’s the eighty-five dollar registration fee. With the additional forty-five dollar charge to have my name on a wooden plaque. I do get a tee shirt. How cool will I be walking among my school's grass lawns with an eighty-five dollar tee shirt.

Maybe I’ll act like any college student and blow that money on fast food.  

Lose the Suit

I decided recently that spending my life sitting in a cubical under florescent lights hammering away on resumes is not the life I need.  I have been in the boring, yet safe human resources field for twelve years. Change in my life was clearly needed.

Yesterday I had my first interview for an amazing new job. I adorned my “interview suit” and headed to a local health club for a management position. As I sat down in the waiting room I sized up my competition. Clearly I had been in the corporate world a little too long. It quickly dawned on me that of the ten other interviewees; I was the only one in a suit. Being a health club, the standard dress is polo shirts and khakis. Everyone around me, including the staff conducting the meetings, sported athletic wear.  As we began the interview, I was asked why I wanted to leave a comfortable office job for the chaos of a gym. I tap-danced through my beliefs of always wanting a crazy job with the buzz and excitement. The standard questions you give in an interview, the ones I’m usually asking, were easy to answer. It’s funny and very true that the hardest person to interview is someone who has worked in hiring and recruiting.

Sitting in the Manager’s office in my imported power tie, and after I unintentionally corrected the interviewer’s knowledge of labor law, we both attempted to see if I was not a square peg being forced into a round hole. She asked about my passion for the fitness industry. I did my best to explain that I’m really just a gym guy.  I truly live in gym shorts and tee shirts and I’m most happy out on my bike or at the gym. At the end of the interview I had the overwhelming urge to rip off my tie and shirt and show my hole filled undershirt.

The lesson I learned is to dress the part. Dress for the job you want.

We will see if I get a call back. 

Glory is fleeting, but Obscurity is Forever

Sitting at my dinning room table this morning, I attempted to write an introduction to my latest paper on why Napoleon Bonaparte was able to rise to power. It didn’t go very well. This stems from not having a single shred of interest in Napoleon, even if he is regarded as one of the greatest military commanders of all time.

So far I had only written several jokes about Mr. Bonaparte driving a Chevy Corsica. This led to three paragraphs in regard to how American car manufacturers take “far-off” exotic names and badge their badly made vehicles. “Oh, I drive a Chevrolet Corsica! Every time I drive my Corsica I feel like I am in the birthplace of Napoleon, the French island in the Mediterranean Sea. Feel the breeze. The air. The total disregard to civil liberties.”

I’m quite sure my Western Civilization Professor would not appreciate a six page paper on how the Monte Carlo, Malibu, or my favorite, the Buick Lucerne received its badges. She wont care that the Lucerne was named either from a town in Colorado, a brand of cottage cheese at Safeway, or the name of fourth largest lake in Switzerland.

Although since we know that in 1798, Switzerland was completely overrun by the Napoleonic French and became the Helvetic Republic (where they invented the font), I could work that car’s name into my report. My report will be, Napoleon: Greatest Military Commander of all Time, as he is commemorated in The American Auto Industry.

Did Napoleon ever make it to Grenada?

Good Eats

It must be the cooler temperatures, it seemed that everyone I know wanted to have people over this weekend. This patio lust was brought on by amazingly perfect weather and the thought that it won’t last long. 

On Sunday morning I still felt the over-indulgence from two separate parties on the day before. Grilled steaks and the last of friend’s garden harvest, prepared to perfection, enticed me to stay at the coffee shop and not head out for my much-needed run around the park. Slowly, I made my way to the park to run, so happy that I was burning away such great meals. 

Site of The Week

REMEMBRANCE OF TEAMS PAST

Check out the site...

http://publicdomainreview.org/2012/08/08/remembrance-of-teams-past/

Nerdiness: Check

How was your American Labor Day? Mine was spent ignoring a school assignment of reading a book and watching an assigned documentary on the American Revolution. Well, that and listening to my Mother make long, drawn-out diatribes about Mittens Romney being elected as America’s next ruler, and ushering in a new era or Mormon dominionism.


Last night I walked into my Western Civilization class to a fifty question test. On the American Revolution, not Mormon dominionism. Trust. I’ve had all the education I need on the spirit of Joseph “F-ing” Smith ushering into the White House.

The fifty questions in regard to the U.S. forefathers took a “why” instead of a “how” context. Without giving this assignment a single thought, I had to pull every fact from deep in my tiny brain. Seeing as my tiny brain had more important things to mull over; such as, was every Dalek really in the season opener to Doctor Who? And, was that really the new companion playing the part of Carmen? As these questions held the hexarchy of my thoughts, the name of George Washington’s big brother’s trading company was nowhere near the top.

I guess I did know the name of the trading company that set off the French/Indian war. I only missed one question. Yay! Let’s hear it for utter nerdiness. I, of course, ignored the comment from my fellow student when he inquired if I had “first-hand knowledge” of the founding of our country, as he is a hockey player that shies away from underpants.

So, if you ever need information on why the British and French used the Native Americans for their top hat lust, I’m apparently your guy. If you need to know why Mittens Romney will prepare us to meet Mormon Jesus, or why the Bronze Daleks are so high up on the Dalek hierarchy. Just shout. This, of course, cements into place my utter nerdiness, leaving all hope of me as cool dead outside of a crashed space cruiser.

Back to School

Just to make sure I know that summer is officially over; fall semester has started at College. The first day was true to form, our wolf mascots was running around the hall like the star of a Furries convention. Fellow classmates, less than half my age, wondered around wearing ironically ‘80s outfits. I snickered at the Dudes sporting the neon high tops and graphic -insert generic band here – tee shirts. I did it when it wasn’t ironic.


This semester has me in more history classes, as I’m now a “History Education Major” it’s not a surprise. In keeping with my history major, yesterday found me at my old study place, the Coffee Shop on 9th Avenue. On my first day of class it was decided we would write a five page paper on some part of western civilization in the eighteen-hundreds. Because I’m an idiot, I blurted out; “The Treaty of Utrecht” not knowing anything about this topic other than it was printed on the poster behind my Professor’s head.

Sunday, I found out how incredibly dull this time in history truly was. I’ll spare you the details. Unless they make a movie staring Channing Tatum as Louis XIV of France, and a shirtless Zachary Quinto as the King of Portugal you don’t need to know anything other than, France got some ass kicked. I got my paper done for class, which is all that matters. This was done only by imagining Channing Tatum giving up his power to Zachary Quinto.

I Need a Hero

When I stumbled across this photo I suddlenly stated to sing a Bonnie Tyler song..... 

I wonder why?

http://englishrussia.com/2012/08/16/one-of-the-most-weird-muscovites

Quote

Quote for today:

Never dwell on what you have lost, only on what you have left. Count your blessings. You'll always find plenty. Your most prized possessions are your unexpired years.

-
Author Unknown

Cool

I had a very odd sensation as I walked from my front door to my car. Like something was wrong, not necessarily wrong, just unusual. There wasn’t sweat rolling down from my tightly buttoned shirt collar. It was actually cool outside. A nice light morning breeze drifted and lifted my tie over my shoulder.


Is it time already? Time for the heavy drapery of oppressive heat to break and the mornings and evenings to become cool? I guess it is mid-August, I wonder if my windows still operate? I have been living in a bubble of A/C for so long I am excited about leaving the window open at night.

The Day After

I will not go into a post-Olympic downer. Nope, not me. Not like every time since my first Olympics I became obsessed with back in 1984.

For weeks after the 1984 games ended I moped around the house with nothing to watch on TV, and nothing to dream about.  I spent the entire remaining summer, after the closing ceremonies, begging my Mom to let me try out for my Junior High’s Track and Field team the next school year. I knew that since we lived so far out in the country there wouldn’t be a way for me to get home when the after school practices were done. And no way I could make it to the meets. 

Every four years I become obsessed with the games and attempt to watch every televised event. I watch the Badminton, Lesbian Kayaking, and the even the hours of team Volleyball. I memorize as many athlete’s names as I can. I try to get their entire back-story, and find them on Twitter.  I quiz myself on the number of points each athlete needs to reach the qualifying rounds. I feel what they feel when they don’t win. I cheer when they do win.

For seventeen days I’m the biggest sports fan there is, then it is over.  To quote Michael Phelps, quoting Dr. Seuss, “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

Olympics or Porn?

Olympics or Porn?

Olympics or Porn? Day 3

Olympics or Porn? Day 2

14 Days of Summer

Yesterday morning I was in the middle of my run, suddenly a perplexing question came into my head.  When does the fall semester for my school start again?

Class start on the 20^th of this month. That’s only two weeks away. Suddenly, it dawned on me that my summer is over in two weeks. But…but… what happened to my road trip to Devil’s Tower?  Camping?  Lazy evenings spent on the front porch sipping Stella? Now it’s a mere 14 days until I have to step back into a classroom. 

Although, I am one of those nerds that actually like school, and my fall classes are centered on the building of Western Civilization. And, since I’m such an Anglophile, I can’t wait to start class.  The fall semester still just seemed to come out of the blue days of summer.

Summer over, Man! 14 days to drink Stella whilst driving to Devil’s Tower. 

Olympics or Porn?

Mmmmmmichael Phelps.

Benjamin Disraeli is on Google +

“Action not always brings happiness; but there is no happiness without action.”

-Benjamin Disraeli.

This is my quote for the day. Earlier in the week I was discussing my blog with my boss, this is when she mentioned that I should write for the company’s blog site. My response, “I write; I never said I was any good.” Fell upon deaf ears.

Now I’m blogging on a weekly basis and getting paid to do so. Since I accepted my Directorship at a private school, I guess I need to learn to blog as an adult. Yet, since my personal blogging has suffered a tad, maybe this will energize my creative flow….

My first topic:

What’s the deal with that Google +? It’s like hello! Where is everybody?

I kid. Google + you’re all-right. Although, maybe I could stop with the quoting of British Prime Ministers.

Apples to Apples

When we stepped across the threshold of the Moroccan Bazaar that is the Apple store I could hear the moan come from Fuzzy.  I was determined to finally go for the thirteen inches I so desperately want before school starts again in the fall. Fuzzy, my homosexual lifetime companion partner was tired of his thirteen and wanted to finally move up to fifteen inches.

Remember when the Apple store was an all white, quiet sanctuary, not unlike the world of Logan’s Run?

Now the store is more like the original Star Trek…

With all the choices and options it soon became too much for the Fuzz man. He began looking towards that door and the safety of the Cinnabon counter. That’s when, after a Red Shirt asked if we were the ones asking for an Apple Specialist that spoke Espanol, it dawned on me that we needed an Apple crewmember that spoke Loud Italian/IML Finalist. An individual that could relate.

This is when, no doubt smelling the fear of solid-state fused hard drives, our specialist found us. Manson.  Finally a Mac Specialist that spoke gay.  A smartly dressed lesbian, that quickly explained to Fuzzy that he could pop all his favorite X-tube vids onto the bedroom TV. 

If it were not for Mason, I’d be the proud owner of Microsoft Office for Apple. Thinking I needed the program for my school papers, Mason explained that Apple has thought of this and made Import/Export options for it word editor.

As Fuzzy and I sat later at Cinnabon, I thought again about the experience with our sales-lesbian.  If you have questions, find the right person, the right person that also understands you. 

Twenty Thousand Years Later

Okay, maybe it hasn’t been exactly twenty thousand years. Maybe it’s closer to twenty-three years since I revisited this block on Downing Street between Ninth and Tenth.  Still, clearly time has marched forward. Not for the street, but the subject in the photo. 

Biking

I really want to ride my bicycle.


I have this thought every time I pass my well neglected bike, as it sits lonely on the front porch. Don’t get me wrong, I do ride my bike quite a bit. It really is more about going for a ride with someone else.

At one time Denver, CO. had a full page in its gay newspaper dedicated to GLBT social clubs. If you were a transgendered lesbian that enjoyed crock-pot cookery, there was a social club for you. During this heyday of social networking, I believe there were no less than three gay men’s bicycle clubs. One for the guys who thought Kevin Bacon was hot and yearned to race, one for the lovely ladies of transgenderedness, and one for… my style of biking.

My "style" is that I just want to put on some Lycra, my helmet adorned in the same graphics as a 1970’s shag-wagon, and my fingerless gloves to peddle around Cherry Creek. Is that too much to ask?

I guess I need to start networking.

Gym Time

I finally found my "real" gym in the last month. A gym without all the trappings. No cardio queens, no angry Moms pushing past on their way to a "stretch and fit" class. Just hard working dudes pushing plates. The gym didn't even have air-conditioning, it was truly a hard core black iron gym.

This gym is the type of place where I didn't have to hear from the other half that I wasn't stopping to gossip and chat with the muscle queens.

"Joe told me you haven't been talking with him at the gym?" I heard on several occasions. This kind of social hair salon setting made me glad I found a working class, blue collar gym.

With the testosteronieness of this gym, I even rediscovered and found it easily to ramp up my work outs. I wanted to push past my "comfort zone" and perform at the level of the muscle heads flipping tracker tires in the parking lot.

I was feeling pretty damn happy for my self. Well, until yesterday when I read the noticed taped to the front door. The one with the really bad grammar explaining that the gym was either being clothed at the end of the moth, or that it was closing at the end of the month.

I found out the gym was closing.

Bummer. I guess it's back to 24 hour fitness for me. Plenty of time to stop and chit-chat with the gays.

Super Sunday

Just thought I share a Super photo.

Under Where?

As part of my daily work life I have quite a lot of Skype conversations. I went from avoiding the whole “video chat” thing to having this as part of my daily Habitrail. Yesterday was no different, Two Skype calls with clients, and one with based on interviewing someone for a new position.


It seems that I have lost my aversion to video conferencing, and it is as easy as someone coming into my office for a conversation. You talk business, and then chat about your day and the weather. Yesterday, after my interview with the perspective new employee, he mentioned that I must be ready to go to the gym.

“Sure” I stated.

“Well, it seems you’re ready to head out to the gym, your gym bag is at the ready.”

Wondering why he knew about my gym bag, tossed behind my desk, I finally focused on my picture in the video chat window. Yup. There was my bag on the video. Completely open with my Under Armour briefs in full display.

I pretty much displayed my undies to clients all day long.

System of a Down

Everyday I get into my car and plug my iPhone into its swanky console iPod connector. When I do this automatic and mindless task, akin to clicking the coffee pot on as I head out to walk the dog every morning, it is without thought or measure.  When I combine my phone and my car together the same thing happens every time, and has for close to three years.  The hard driven beats of System of a Down (SOAD) start to blare. Loudly. 

I’ve become so familiar with my music beginning automatically that I have a pavlovian response of clicking the satellite radio button and finding something good to entertain me on Sirius radio.  This action happens every time use my car, for three non-stop years. Until, strangely yesterday morning when I clicked my iPhone into its tiny holster, and when the driving guitars and hypnotic vocals of Serj Tankian, the lead singer of this alternative heavy metal band started, my automatic response failed. I sat there listening to this bands proprietary song, as it moved forward I was moved backward.

I received Toxicity, System of a Down’s first major release as a present from my Ex Dalton, right after September 11, 2001.  We took the CD on our first road trip. A black Dodge Ram driving across west Texas in the middle of the night.  Two men hand in hand.  September 11 fresh on our minds. We listened to the album over and over as night covered the Texas landscape. The heat of night trying to force itself into the cab of the truck. We didn’t know our future. We barely knew each other.

We spent a week in Santa Fe. Getting to know each other.

There is no other reason why this album starts when I connect my iPhone other than the first song starting with an “A”

NTSSB.COM

Sometimes I feel downright cleaver. Like when the female Prostitute approached me on the street the other day, my quick response of “Lady I’m wearing a yellow bow-tie! That should signal to you that I’m very gay!” It helped my ego that she looked disappointed. I spent two days feeling quite smug about my quick sarcastic response.


Today I have spent feeling like a dunce. I didn’t handle the emails warning me that my domain name, NTSSB.com was up for renewal very well. I ignored the “This domain name is about to expire” emails because originally it was registered through GoDaddy.com, and sense we all know what a bunch of Douche Bags they are, I didn’t reply. I planned on just transferring to a new company.

I put it off.

The next I did think about it was when Patrick mentioned that my NTSSB site was dead. Well, if he’s upset then I need to act. The last thing I want is for him to pull quarters out of his ass and chucking them at me. Quickly I went to register the precious name, keeping in mind that nicetoseestevieb.com and nicetoseestevieb.blogspot are humming right along… or else you wouldn’t be reading this…

This is about the time I began to learn the shady world of name registering. If you let a domain expire the registrar will then charge you $98 bucks. Just to renew it. I think they call it an idiot tax. The only other choice is to let NTSSB fall from grace and when it comes open to the public I can re-register it for $20 bucks. IF someone else doesn’t do it first; like it’s a big flipping deal.

This is an open apology to anyone who has missed my not-so-subtle sarcastic wit in the last couple weeks due to the NTSSB domain not redirecting to my BlogSpot address. I won’t be spending $98 smackers on redirecting you. But, here’s what you missed.

I ran.

I shopped for a new fridge.

I sat in the grass.

I’m an ENTJ.

It kicks like a sleep twitch.

Mystery Date

I'd like to ask your opinion. I'm torn between the fact that I might be losing my memory, I'm just over worked, or just way too polite for my own good.

Last night I made dinner plans with a friend for next Thursday. I assume it was a friend; although, I haven't a clue who it was. No idea. Now, maybe I should of remembered. Maybe I should of texted, "BTW who the hell is this? Either choice would of been better then re-reading my texts with an "Oh! Crap!" look on my face.

I guess it will be a surprise next Thursday. Like a mystery date!

The Grass is Greener

It’s funny how we can miss out on personal time. That quality “me” time that is so important for staying centered in this world. With priorities and commitments capturing our time, it is hard to unplug.  The simple act of running away, even if it is for just a couple of hours.

This thought struck me yesterday when I started out for a morning run, and couldn’t remember that last time I ran. My knees couldn’t remember either. Like chunks of rust falling off of an unused piece of ancient machinery, my body slowly began to move slowly down the running path. 

With road trips, houseguests, summer events, and the occasional household appliance catastrophe, the time to head over to Cheesmen Park and open up my personal sacred time had been shoved to the side. The funny part was that my body made me completely aware of my lack of running time. Yes, my knees creaked and my ankles burned, yet it was more the non-ability to shut off the business side of my brain. It was somewhere around the two mile mark when I stopped thinking about emails. At mile three I stopped beating myself up for not blogging enough. By mile four was when Steve returned. The Steve that doesn’t have “commitments” or “obligations” but instead enjoys the particular shade of green that the grass in Cheesmen offers.

You might not even really realize that you are not doing the things that make you truly happy. I implore you to stop and ask, “What do I love to do? Why am I not doing it?”