Monday, October 11, 2010

SIGOURNEY WEAVER GAVE ME THE DAY OFF

An actual conversation from yesterday morning.  And by “actual conversation” I mean by text. My brilliantly elequted portion will be in blue.

I took tomorrow off to spend with you.

Uh, you what?

I took tomorrow off. I figured we could spend some time together. Cool hu?

Well I’d say thanks Steve but maybe I should thank Christopher Columbus. Since it’s his plundering and bloody apostatizing that brought measles and smallpox to decimate an entire population that gave you the day off. Not you.

Yeah, and how he suckered Sigourney Weaver into giving him all those ships in that movie. What a bastard. What was that movie called? 1491?


Yeah, 1492. What was it?

Aliens. So, because Segourney Weaver got scammed out of some gold and Columbus “Sailed the ocean blue” you get the day off. And you’re taking the credit for his day.

Yes, and I want to spend it with you.

Sorry I have to teach a class.

That’s cool, I wanted to go to the dealership and get my tires switched over to nitrogen anyway.

I’m sorry I’m going to miss that…fun. Being Italian I know that the proper way to celebrate is with auto maintenance. Thank you Sigourney. Er.... Mr. Columbus. 

No thank you obscure references.


   

8 comments:

Scooter said...

too funny !

Anonymous said...

Sadly, or fortunately, I can here you both saying this.

Homer said...

The Native Americans gave Columbus' crew syphilis in return.

cb said...

Since I believe Leif Erikson discovered america, I have to work today.

:-(

cb said...

Oh, and I thought the native American spelling of "elocution" was clever

Blobby said...

g-d, i do not even remember this movie to be in existence.

Anonymous said...

Here in Blighty, I have no clue what on Earth you're on about, but you're cute so that's fine.

Damien Oz said...

Stevie - put whatever is in your hands down.

Walk over to the couch.

Lay down.

Stay there for some time.

Breathe deeply.

oh my