I went to my Nephew's graduation from high school yesterday. I had forgotten how unbelievably boring these things are. I sat with the Nieces and talked about Depeche Mode’s new album. At one point my sister snapped at her daughter for texting during the ceremony. The Niece calmly stated, that she was texting her brother out on the field.
“I can see that! He’s not even paying attention to his own graduation.”
My sister countered. That’s when I thought, maybe I shouldn’t be texting him, or my Nieces right now.
In the middle of the ceremony my Mom leans over and quietly states;
“You’re getting really fat.”
“Uh, thanks.” I enthusiastically say back “I have 19’ arms, I do yoga regularly, and I can bench 315 this isn’t fat this is solid man meat!” She didn’t turn around again.
“I can see that! He’s not even paying attention to his own graduation.”
My sister countered. That’s when I thought, maybe I shouldn’t be texting him, or my Nieces right now.
In the middle of the ceremony my Mom leans over and quietly states;
“You’re getting really fat.”
“Uh, thanks.” I enthusiastically say back “I have 19’ arms, I do yoga regularly, and I can bench 315 this isn’t fat this is solid man meat!” She didn’t turn around again.
You missed an excellent opportunity to run from that boring event. You should have stood up and yelled:
ReplyDelete"You try pushing out three kids and keeping a career!"
And run.
Matricide is illegal why? fc
ReplyDeleteMothers say the darndest things...
ReplyDelete*bless em*
Bless your Mom's little cotton socks, can I take her out for a day of shopping and three-cosmo lunches?
ReplyDeleteJust remember, for the graduates it isn't nearly as boring, if modern graduations are anything like mine, I was so drunk I couldn't care how shit it was.
Next time I'd suggest a few 'brewskis' to kick things into gear!
I used to work for a College and would work the "commencement" ceremonies at the end of each years... 4 ceremonies in 2 days... Sometimes, when something is excruciatingly boring, I'll just say: That movie is so "commencement ceremony"!
ReplyDeleteSo I will take a stab in the dark that she is not cumming to Wiener Fest to watch you eat?
ReplyDelete