SWEET DREAMS

Have you ever gone mattress shopping with a partner? This year Fuzzy and I decided that part of our Christmas present-fest would include a new bed. Our mattress now resembles the Appalachian mountain range, and we haven’t had a good night sleep since the last time we stayed in a hotel which helped us realize how bad our mattress really was.

Uh, kinda...

Going into a mattress store with your Homosexual, lifetime companion partner really brings your bedroom out in front of commissioned sales associates. Which is always fun, especially when your partner keeps saying stuff like “spoon me to make sure it feels right” or “is the side firm enough to support your knees?” Oddly, we received no difference in service then the boring opposite-sex shoppers. Not an eyebrow was raised.

Since Fuzzy is at 190, I’m 220 and the dog somehow is comprised of dark matter we really needed a bed that would hold up under the pressure and not move during one of my sleep terror nights plus the dogs constant rotating like a furry gyros roaster. The sales dude, Kurt was very helpful in getting a Beautyrest that would help up sleep through the night.

So, sleep tight.